Aside from a few exceptions, all the blog posts that I wrote have now been released. I wrote more than I thought I did, over 350 articles. Now granted, I did try to focus on one subject for each one, unlike my other blogs, which tend to go out on tangents quite frequently.
I put the date of when I wrote them at the top of each one. I’m still working out some of the bugs and wanted to make sure that the date was recorded to provide some context. Going forward (there it is again, take a drink, or at least, drink if you read it in the voice of Luke Ravenstahl), I won’t be adding the date, but it should show up on the main blog feed.
The naming convention (starting the titles with ‘Wherein’) will continue, although there are of course, a few exceptions here and there (this special week of posts being one of them). I’ve also switched from using the penname, to signing each post with my real name, as I’m safe now. As they say, The King is dead, long live the King.
I didn’t realize how much I repeated myself. But I guess there are just some themes and stories I keep going back to: they’re important and mean so much, so if you read through the archives, you’ll see them each about three times.
And while I did censor myself periodically, I tried to be as open and honest as I could be. And that was one of the reactions that I’ve received a lot, how honest I am in my writing.
Writing is very cathartic for me, and being so open, even with myself, was a big help. As was going back to read each entry, it was interesting to get a glimpse of my headspace at each moment in time, as well as see what’s really important. There is a lot of emotion and a lot of honesty in my writing, it’s how I cope with things.
I’ll continue to write, trying to be as honest as I can be. I’ve even felt inspired to do a video, but for now, I’ll probably pass. Maybe it will become a collaborative effort, but for now, I’m more comfortable behind a keyboard than in front of a camera. Well, I guess that’s always the case.
There’s still a lot of work to be done, even if the BSA’s ban is lifted, or, the current compromise being floated is put in place. I’m still anxious to say that this will happen, I don’t want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed once more. That will make fighting that much harder. But fight on we must.
It’s not a perfect solution. In fact it isn’t really a solution, more of a step in the right direction. But we should celebrate what it is.
Yes, it gives the BSA an easy out. An easy way to weasel out of having to take a stand (ignoring the fact that they’ve taken a stand for 30 years now), but it is still progress.
And yes, I hope that I can still help out. I have some ideas how I can directly help the camp directors this year if they need it, as well as work with the Alumni Association. And as long as my schedule works out, I’d love to go up for Beaver Weekend (and I’d be happy putting up tents if that’s where they want me, honest, I bet I’m still pretty good on a work crew).
There has been a lot of chatter on Facebook about the proposed policy change, almost all of it encouraging. And it’s nice to know that I have some allies, even now.
The criticism of course, hurts. The derogatory language and slurs hurt. And it hurts not just me, but the other staff members and youth members, gay or straight.
Working on camp staff, we were judged by the work we performed, nothing else. Scouting belongs in the great outdoors, and we should be looking to our camp staffs for guidance on this issue. They already, almost universally, understand that a person is not defined by their sexuality, but instead their commitment and growth, their willingness to help a fellow Scout, talk with a volunteer and run the resident camp programs that so many use to define the Scouting movement.
These are the leaders not only of tomorrow, but of today. They are the ones sacrificing their time, oftentimes their entire summers, to lead “the game with a purpose.” We owe them the respect which they have already earned. And as they run camping programs across the country, we should instead be focusing our attention to making sure they have the resources they need to put together the best program for the youth who come through the gates of their camps.
Heterosexual staff members can easily take for granted the world to which they’ve been exposed. And this is not in any way to diminish their own stories and the hard work that they put in. But LGBT youth carry additional burdens with them: a constant barrage of media telling them they are not worthy of love, that they are destroying society. Even questioning if their own family and friends will still love them when they come out.
I like to think that I’m a remarkably strong individual, but no one comes out of that landscape unscathed, not even me. But if a young person feels at home in Scouts, who are we to tell him or her that they’re not welcome, or that they are somehow broken.
Institutionalized discrimination hurts children. It is a cause of emotional harm and in some cases, leads to their suicides. I made this point exceptionally clear in my last post (the one with all the footnotes), and I hope that these two posts help those that don’t understand the fight for equality get a better perspective. No one is asking for you to change your sexuality (since you can’t), but we will take the basic rights, decency and civility that we’ve been denied for so long.
Looking ahead, I’m very excited for the Pride celebrations. I think I have a lot to be proud of. Making it this far is exciting, and doing what I have in the past, to help those around me, and the fight now, are all things I’m proud of. And I’m proud of what the LGBT community has accomplished, demanding the basic civil rights that we’re denied out of prejudice and bigotry. I’m still totally afraid of large crowds, but I’ll force myself to enjoy it for once, hopefully I’ll run into some people at the events that I haven’t seen in a while. And here’s the “secret” about Pride: it celebrates radical inclusion. Everyone is welcome (just like the Episcopal Church), and we mean everyone. Come down and party with us.
My family and friends of course, have been nothing short of amazing. They’ve all been supportive and while I still hate the feeling of being the center of attention, I am happy to be a resource and will continue to fight for equality, this week and in the future.
Coming out was tough, but I’m better for it. I oftentimes forget that it’s happened, both because I was forced to hide for so long, but also because there are much more interesting and important aspects to me. I still take the hate I see online and in the media to heart, but I feel as though I’m getting better at that.
And you know what would help even more? Being welcomed back up to camp and spending an hour or so reading on that one rock by the lake that I miss so much.
All my best,
Mike
