Written: 05/08/2011

A constitutional ban on marriage equality has been brought up in the State House.  Even though it’s already banned, now the right wants to enshrine it in our state constitution.

Equality PA is the state-level organization, I haven’t worked with them much, but we’ll see.  I’ll be donating what I can.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 05/08/2011

HuffPo recently listed this as possibly the best wedding video ever.  I like it, especially the use of the iPad at the beginning.  Overall the editing is great, although there were of course a few shots that I would have put together different, but again, it is pretty cool:

joya and emre | wedding music video from David Robin on Vimeo.

Note: The video is set to private, so we can’t view it, sadly

Jasun has an amazing response to it, I can’t add anything to it, so I’m going to post most of it here, he writes it so eloquently:

A marriage (and it’s sad a gay person who can’t get married has to tell you this) isn’t something that happens one day… it’s something that’s supposed to happen for the rest of your life.

When you spend tens of thousands of bucks on a one-day party, dress you’re going to wear once, decoration­s, party favors and now a high-budge­t “wedding video” so you can get your Youtube moment, people have lost the point of marriage.

I still think the reason there are so many anti-gay marriage laws is that it’s straight people’s way of clinging to that idea that it’s “special” when it’s just… not. To them, anyway. They never had to fight for it and with divorce, they get as many as they want. Hey, they can have another one next month if they can afford it.

Read the last paragraph again, I think he hits the nail on the head, something I didn’t even realize before it was spelled out:

They never had to fight for it.

Will marriage equality solve all our problems?  Erase hatred and bigotry, ensure fairness?  No.  But we still fight for it.

Because it’s worth it.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/30/2011

Not only is he a horrible interviewee, he’s a total asshat:

And there is outrage over a recent episode of Glee:

“Naturally, conservatives were outraged by the homophobic football player’s apology to Kurt for threatening to kill him.”

So remember, it’s wrong for me to have basic rights like visiting a partner in the hospital, and it would be wrong for people to apologize to me after threatening to kill me.

After all, the conservatives are the ones being bullied into having to have me alive.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

MSNBC has the story, and they explain it very well:

Dan Savage sums it up beautifully:

Why don’t they just admit that they want to kill gay kids?

This is one of the reasons the It Gets Better Project is so important.

It was raised in the comments over at Slog, what if the kid comes from a same-sex household?  Can the teacher even talk to the parents?

Good gravy, so much of this country is messed up.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

Dan Savage takes down a new paper about “traditional marriage.”  It’s excellent:

Marriage is defined by exclusivity—it’s defined by monogamy—but only when gay people want to get married. Straight people don’t have to be married to be monogamous or monogamous to be married.

Marriage is permanent—it’s for life—but only when gay people want to get married. Straight people have been marrying and divorcing and remarrying and redivorcing for centuries.

Marriage is about bearing and rearing children together—not the turn of phrase I would’ve chosen—but only when gay people want to get married. Straight people can be married without rearing children and rear children without being married.

Marriage is—and I’m just going to quote this bit—”renewed by acts that constitute the behavioral part of the process of reproduction.” In other words, straight sex is magic—it makes babies!—and straight sex that doesn’t or can’t make babies (“In the butt, Bob”) is still magic because it “renews” the marital bond, i.e. it reminds you why you married that person in the first place (“She’s really been on my nerves lately, but… man… she gives excellent head”).

Sorry, academic bigots, but your argument is bullshit. Straight people long ago redefined marriage and no rational argument can be made for excluding loving same-sex couples from the institution of marriage as redefined and currently practiced by straight people. Marriage is the legal union of two equal and consenting adults. Period. A marriage can be monogamous or not, it can involve child rearing or not, it can be for life or not, it can have a religious dimension or not, and it can be sexless and/or very infrequently renewed or not.

He’s freaking amazing.  I don’t have anything to add.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned it here before, but now’s a good time to talk about (possibly again).

LGBT.

The letters are rearranged a lot, sometimes extra letters are added onto the end, Q in particular, sometimes even twice!

However, every time I type it out or see it, even though I usually type it and say it out loud the way it is above, I always want to rearrange it:

GBLT

So then I have an excuse to go make a BLT sandwich.

All my best,

The King of Spades

P.S. And people doubted that I could bring bacon into a conversation about equality…hehehe

Written: 04/24/2011

Since we’re not yet into the throw of the 2012 presidential election (are there even polls for the off years?), people need something to occupy their time.

I kid, I kid.  There are always polls about all sorts of things.  One of the most trusted (which has now been followed up by a few other reputable, separate polls), Nate Silver released this:

Optimistic, of course.  But here’s the stark reality:

Older people tend to be less supportive of marriage equality… and much more likely to actually show up and vote when the civil rights of gays and lesbians are forced on to the ballot. (And only our rights ever make it to the ballot.)

I don’t want to get into the fact that LGBT rights are the only ones that make it to the ballot box, the fact that the majority votes on the civil rights of a minority angers me to no end.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

I try not to talk about politics that often, even here on the blog.  But if you read me long enough, you’ll see which way I lean (although I register as an Independent, more on that in a bit).

But who am I kidding?  Vast majorities of elected Republicans would rather see LGBT citizens dead than alive.  And heaven forbid we actually discuss equality.  While this may be true for some of their party members (especially older generations), younger generations get it (and choose to fight over states rights and fiscal issues, which I know very little about, so have it, I’ll remain concerned with social issues).  So in some cases it’s a waiting game.

But then you read things like this recent study:

Suicide attempts by gay teenagers — and even straight teens — are more common in politically conservative areas that lack school programs supporting gay rights, a study involving nearly 32,000 high school students found.

Hatzenbuehler’s team found a higher rate of suicide attempts even among youths who were not bullied or depressed when they lived in counties less supportive of gays and with relatively few Democrats. A high proportion of Democrats was a measure used as a proxy for a more liberal environment.

Politicians are always railing against things that are unsafe.  Just a suggestion.

And while there are certainly stand out elected Democrats (and to be fair, in some cases, Republican, although they tend to stand for equality after they are out of office, when it doesn’t matter), neither party seems to really care or get it right now.  We’re a great demographic to ask for money, so we’re courted, but sadly, often little is done (but again, remembering the fact that last year was in fact a banner year for equality).

Sigh.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

Here’s a fun map for you:

From Joe My God:

Despite Lawrence Vs. Texas, laws specifically against gay sex remain on the books in four states. Ten other states continue to outlaw all acts of sodomy. Last month the GOP blocked an attempt to delete such a law in Montana.

And just as a reminder (even though these laws can’t be enforced even though they remain on the books), sodomy is any sex that is not for procreation.  You know, 99% of all heterosexual sex.  So stop it.  Besides, there are plenty of groups that as they try to chip away at LGBT rights, try to chip away at other sexual rights as well.  We’re just first on the chopping block.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 04/24/2011

Once again (as always), Rob hits the nail on the head:

This made me think yet again of U.S. Representative Steve King and his belief that we don’t need laws banning workplace discrimination against gays and lesbians, because employees shouldn’t be “advertising” their sexual orientation anyway.

So I’m forced to wonder: What would Rep King want Adam to do?

When he’s asked where the cookies come from, is he to lie? Perhaps King wants him to shut out his co-workers with a vague and evasive answer (while they show him pictures of their kids, introduce him to them in daycare, bring them to dinner on the last night, and are left  to wonder why he’s so closed off)? Or is Adam simply not to bring the cookies at all? [to get the backstory about Adam and his husband, and the cookies, check out the full article at the link]

I don’t know which alternative they prefer, but my reaction is the same to each. What a meager life they want us to have.

And by “us” I don’t just mean gays and lesbians. I mean our associates and colleagues, anyone who works with other people, who develops relationships and builds human contact into their work life. What a meager existence they want all of us to have, closed off in cocoons of impersonal efficiency. Hell, not even efficiency — everyone in a successful office knows that strong relationships are the key to getting things done and weathering sudden crises.

Not that I’m in (or looking for) a relationship.  But one of the things I hate the most is the absolute silence I have to keep at work.

Everyone around me talks about their wives, their husbands (there’s a lot of complaining, but still), their children and the events in their lives.  I hear about date nights, anniversaries, first words and steps, school plays and sicknesses.

Anytime coworkers talk about their spouses, or the hot woman in the shop, their sexuality is being flaunted in front of me.  Yes, I’m good at diverting, and ignoring, but it is very tiring.  I may be used to the unfairness, but that does not mean I don’t despise it.

I’ll remain closed off and quiet, evading questions and keeping my distance from everyone in the office.  And as tiring and ridiculous as that is, I can only hope something changes soon.

All my best,

The King of Spades