Written: 5/2/2012
It’s kind of like the merger of this and Warhol’s Phone, where I sometimes, when I remember to, blog about communication in Pittsburgh. But this was too good to not share, courtesy of BuzzFeed:
It’s running in North Carolina where they vote today on a constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality.
Not much else I can add, really.
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 5/2/2012
Once again, to beat this dead horse, in case you didn’t know, men can’t change their sexual orientation:
By the end of the 1990s, the only [people from our organization] doing well were those who’d accepted they were gay and found a partner. It was as if a great burden had been shifted, that they thought, “Now at last I know who I am. I know I’m in love with somebody and they love me.” I thought, this is the kind of result we hoped they’d achieve living an upright Christian life, but they’re finding that contentment just being themselves. I began to think that perhaps we’d got it really wrong.
I still run Courage, but now it’s with a belief that you can be gay and Christian. We offer a chance to meet other gay Christians and support committed same-sex relationships. It’s been difficult for my wife, because she’s naturally very concerned that I might therefore decide, “That’s it, I want to go and find a man.” But we’re coming up to retirement age and I wouldn’t feel happy just to leave her—feeling abandoned after all we’ve been through together. Ours may not be the traditional heterosexual romance, but the care for one another’s wellbeing is just as real. I try not to look back, but I know I’ve missed out in a big way—and so has she. She should have been with some heterosexual guy who adored her, as she should be adored.
That was from the founder of a “ex-gay ministry.”
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/26/2012
I don’t really understand politics. I remember my senior year in college, a good friend had to sit me down and explain the basics of each of the two major parties (colors, animals, etc). I’m happy being an Independent, but of course, I vote progressive, but across all parties (including Republican sometimes, since I look at each candidate and compare their views).
Something I don’t know much about is the Libertarian party. I know they’re pretty much obsessed with the limiting of the federal government and letting people make their own decisions, as long as they don’t interfere with anyone else.
I have found that a lot of conservatives call themselves Libertarian, but still rail against LGBT rights. However, I think that those really embracing the ideals would be happy to live and let live.
As science has found though, is that those obsessed with stopping marriage equality, all think their marriage is fine, but they are concerned for everyone else’s.
Opponents of same-sex marriage worry that extending the institution’s rights to gay people will harm heterosexual marriages. But a new study suggests that no one really believes their own relationships are at risk — only other people’s.
The study is a demonstration of the “third-person perception,” a common psychological bias in which people are convinced that others are much more influenced by outside sources such as media and advertising than they themselves are. In the realm of same-sex marriage, people who strongly value authority and tradition were the most likely to demonstrate this third-person effect.
Interesting, but I guess human nature, to consider ourselves impervious, but everyone else easily swayed and influenced. Don’t worry, when a gay couple gets married, they get assigned a straight couple to force to get divorced, so you know, the fears aren’t unfounded.
I’ve been sarcastic lately….sorry about that!
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/26/2013
It’s been said before, and we’ll keep saying it. Those who protest too much, against anything, are usually secretly turned on by it (see Larry Craig, Ted Haggard, and the list continues ad infinitum).
And now, Science!:
Homophobia is more pronounced in individuals with an unacknowledged attraction to the same sex and who grew up with authoritarian parents who forbade such desires, a series of psychology studies demonstrates.
Slog, and AmericaBlog have both covered it. So just remember, that guy railing against equal rights? Huge self-hating homo.
And you wouldn’t want to be thought of as gay would you? Guess you’ll have to stop railing against me.
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/26/2012
I also have no idea if I spelled “repairative” correctly (spell check says no). Oh well, life moves on, because as it’s main proponent has just revealed, it doesn’t work and his research was wrong:
In a move that serves as a significant blow to “ex-gay” programs and anti-gay organizations, Dr. Robert Spitzer repudiated his much-criticized 2001 study that claimed some “highly motivated” homosexuals could go from gay to straight. His retraction occurred in an American Prospect magazine article that hit newsstands today. Spitzer’s rejection of his own research, which was originally published in the prestigious Archives of Sexual Behavior, is a devastating blow to “ex-gay” organizations because it decisively eliminates their most potent claim that homosexuality can be reversed through therapy and prayer. “Dr. Spitzer’s repudiation of his 2001 study is an earthquake that severely undermines the validity of ‘ex-gay’ programs,” said Truth Wins Out’s Executive Director Wayne Besen, who criticized the study in his 2003 book, Anything But Straight: Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-Gay Myth. “Spitzer just kicked out the final leg from the stool on which the proponents of ‘ex-gay’ therapy based their already shaky claims of success.”
Ex-gay therapy is destructive to those forced into it, and those who enter voluntarily end up deeper in the closet and harming themselves. It’s so sad to read and watch the stories of those forced into the “therapy.” Although it’s always ironic to hear about the hook-ups that happen from ex-gay group meetings.
But please just understand that sexual orientation in men is set, it cannot be changed. Sure, you can choose how you act and if you want to experiment or repress urges. But you are who you are, and you can’t be changed by quack medicine.
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/16/2012
A great piece of advice for straights going to gay clubs. Make sure to check out the whole thing.
Being the craft beer fan that I am, may I give a whole-hearted Amen:
No Fucking Cosmos
Seriously, it’s not 1997 and you are not Carrie Bradshaw. Put down the fucking appletini and order a beer or a vodka tonic like everyone else.
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/26/2012
President Obama’s campaign is in defense mode. He has refused to sign an executive order protecting LGBT people in the workplace, at least those employed by the federal government and their contractors.
And I can’t say that he hasn’t done anything for the gay community, quite the opposite. But like Obama himself has said, we need to keep pressuring him to move forward.
But to be fair, good progress has been made:
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/26/2012
A lot of good videos are popping up. Things like “It’s Time,” which I’m pretty sure I’ve posted before about.
In that vein, check out this awesome video from the UK:
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/7/2012
I’ve worked on camp staff for ten years. This upcoming season will be my eleventh. It is safe to say that camp staff certainly changed my life for the better. Each summer is different, and special in its own way with hardships and achievements, but I can look back at each one with a smile (although truth be told, sometimes it is getting harder to differentiate each one from those around them).
I was able to find a core group, and make friendships that have lasted since. And while I’m still at least cordial with just about everyone I worked with, there certainly is a group from camp that I consider family. I can look back and some of the crazy moves we had, the back-breaking manual labor, the long, hot hours in program and the crazy nights in the staff site with fondness. I can also look back and know that we made a difference in the lives of young people, for the better.
One of the things that we sometimes don’t talk about, or maybe even admit out loud, is that the staff needs the experience and can learn and grow just as much as the campers, to some degree at least. For a humerus look at this, check out Camp Confessions, while some are more specific to Girl Scout or even non-affiliated camps, they all ring true. Slate also looked at the summer camp culture in an article from a while ago. It’s interesting to see those so invested in the outdoor classroom of camp and how it can change their lives.
I love the mountain that I’ve worked on for ten years (although, and I’m not shy about this fact, it is not my favorite camp), and thinking about losing that oasis is frightening. I work personally with the Rangers and know all the staff, but when I finally am able to move onto a new job, I fear I will never see camp again, at least until the discriminatory policies of the BSA are changed.
Yes, I’m sure I could go up to visit if no event was going on, I could probably even go up for some of the service weekends, we all know we need more volunteers to get everything done. But I don’t want to have to go back into the closet to volunteer a weekend of my time, even if it is for a place that I hold so dear.
And do I even dare to dream of a time when I could take a boyfriend on a tour of the place that shaped me so profoundly? To hold his hand at The Rock, or share a kiss at Spear’s Point, gaze at the stars from the floating bridge or hike the Courage Trail, showing him all of my favorite hiding spots in the woods, the place where I held my Vigil?
Maybe it is too much to ask.
All my best,
The King of Spades
Written: 4/1/2012
I’d like to share a wonderful video that brings together the history of marriage through the church (via the lens of California’s Prop 8, which was funded very prominently by out of state Mormons):
All my best,
The King of Spades
