“If roads were collapsing all across the United States, killing dozens of drivers, we would surely see that as a moment to talk about what we could do to keep roads from collapsing. If terrorists were detonating bombs in port after port, you can be sure Congress would be working to upgrade the nation’s security measures. If a plague was ripping through communities, public-health officials would be working feverishly to contain it.
“Only with gun violence do we respond to repeated tragedies by saying that mourning is acceptable but discussing how to prevent more tragedies is not. But that’s unacceptable. As others have observed, talking about how to stop mass shootings in the aftermath of a string of mass shootings isn’t too soon.’ It’s much too late.”
And even though it was hidden for a while, just remember, giving tax breaks to the wealthy doesn’t actually create jobs. It just gives them lower taxes.
First up, today’s title comes from this song (which, sadly, every version of it I’ve ever seen mangles the line I mention above):
So let’s rip this Band-Aid off: I’m gay.
Raise your hand if you’re surprised. No one? Okay then, moving on.
Please understand that I didn’t tell anyone out of a love for those around me. The BSA is so connected (I have yet to go to an event for my new employer where I haven’t run into a former camp staff kid or volunteer) that I never wanted anyone to have to lie for me. It may seem selfish, but I promise, it was out of care for everyone around me, it was my struggle and no one should have had to be put in that position.
And it’s a great relief to be able to say that without being fired.
Honestly, it’s not a big deal. But I can do some good, I always have to remember that while human sexuality is private, coming out is important, if for nothing else than addressing the public side of human relationships and sexuality, raising awareness, putting a human face to a “foreign” idea. I tend to play everything close to the chest, I’m a very private person, so again, no disrespect meant, I just kept this to myself, not only as a way to keep myself safe, but also as a way to ensure I could keep paying the bills and remain employed.
There is so much that is public that no one thinks about, that for years, I had to guard in fear: weekend plans, dates, pictures of significant others, facebook likes and posts, so much that is taken for granted that seems innocent enough, but was a minefield for me to navigate. And now I don’t have to do that anymore, you can just be with the complete Mike, and maybe you can put a face to the LGBT community now.
Working for the BSA for five years was hard. And that’s probably the understatement of the year. It was emotionally draining, exhausting and heartbreaking. Each and every day. I was one of their best employees, and I enjoyed what I did. But for my own sanity, health and safety, I needed to be in a place that doesn’t discriminate. I hope the policy changes, and I hope I can change some people’s mind about it. And we need to keep in mind, the policy needs to change, not for me, but for the youth that are being told they aren’t worthy. Being told they aren’t equal. Being told they are broken. Institutionalized discrimination hurts children, make no mistake. I’m bolstered by the stories I’ve heard, the people I’ve worked with, and the lives people have made me a part of. And they’re all worth fighting for. I’m tired. No, I’m exhausted. But the fight for equality rages on, and I intend to help. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Moving forward (also, I keep writing that lately, I’m blaming Luke Ravenstahl. And his drinking game), I’ll be listening to the advice of one Captain Malcolm Reynolds:
“I aim to misbehave”
And by misbehave, I mean try to make the world a better place. Two items:
I wrote a large post for the BSA’s internal Idea Forum (IdeaSource), hoping to provide some insight as to why they need to change, not only because they will quickly find themselves irrelevant, but also because of the real harm their discrimination causes to children.I’ll be posting it for public view (and hopefully getting it in front of the people who can make a difference) via item number two:
I kept a blog of my experiences working for the BSA, what it was like to hide a large part of myself out of self-preservation as well as commentary about the fight for equality.But don’t worry, I wrote it, so there’s a lot of humor, irreverence and fun links involved too.But a lot of it is raw emotion, and heartbreaking for me to even write.I’ll be going back and editing the posts (grammar wasn’t high on my priority list as I wrote and I have to decide how to deal with the hatred and bullying I was put through), and releasing them.If you’d like to follow along, I’ll be posting them under the heading “The King of Spades.”I hope they provide some perspective, and if others stumble upon them, some hope that things can get better for those in the LGBT community employed by organizations with rooted discrimination.
Both of those items will probably ruffle some feathers, to put it mildly. But what’s the point of having the influence and connections that I do if I can’t try to make the world a better place. Maybe I can change some minds, or even convince others to add their voices to the fight for equality. Besides, if I wasn’t ruffling feathers for the greater good, I wouldn’t be my parent’s son, now would I?
And you’ll notice I posted this on December 21, 2012 (if I did it right, although I know what’s wrong, I can’t change the time zone, so sometimes I’m shooting in the dark). I couldn’t pass up the irony of the “end of the world,” “Mayan prophecy,” “Armageddon,” “new era” and “OMG Mike just ruined Christmas” date. See? I still have that strange sense of humor, that’s not going anywhere.
And to everyone I couldn’t tell in person, I’m sorry. I just didn’t have that much time and I want to get on living my life, and again, it’s a small facet of who I am, not a big deal, I’m moving on. Chances are though, if I didn’t get a chance to talk to you in person, you’re really important to me. That sounds antithetical, I know, but the stakes are so much higher for those closest to me, and I’m scared. I certainly tried, and chickened out more than a few times, but that’s my fault, not yours. But I’ll be talking about all that in the blog, not to worry. And besides, this helps to boost my ego and makes me think I have a large blog readership. Right? And besides, I’m a much better writer than an extemporaneous speaker.
I hope you read along, I talk about a lot of different things and it’s a fun journey that we can make together. I could go on, but I run the risk of already losing my brevity (I know, too late), but as a teaser, I talk about stereotypes, beer, Pride, hockey, ENDA, camp, and much, much more. I have a lot of caveats to everything above, and a lot to discuss, so please, stick around, I’ll make it worth your while, I promise.
So for now, just know that you’re honestly important to me and a part of my story.
Merck, one of the largest pharmaceutical companies in the world has stopped giving money to the BSA, once again, citing their discriminatory policies.
This comes on the heels of UPS and Intel.
Hopefully more companies continue this trend. For the BSA to change their policies, they have to see it will hurt them more to discriminate than to embrace equality. This is one half of the equation, the other side is membership. That to also has to show that they lose more due to discrimination than equality.
I’m really nervous. And I’m going to be for the next seven months or so. The Supreme Court is taking up the DOMA and Prop 8 cases. A lot is at stake.
And yes, anti-sodomy laws were once ruled constitutional, to be later overturned, so it’s not the end of the battle. And most legal scholars, and even a lot on the right are predicting that equality will win.
And if equality doesn’t win, we’ll keep fighting. We have for so long, and we will keep at it. These are our rights we’re fighting for (and yes, it’s absolutely absurd that we have to fight for our basic civil rights in 2012).
So until the decision comes down in June, I’ll be a nervous wreck. Not because I need the Supreme Court to validate my existence, but because I believe in fairness and equality, and the security that comes from full marriage equality.
And if they do decide for equality, there is still more work to be done. But just think of how exciting Pride 2013 is going to be.
Today, Google posted its third annual zeitgeist video. I like last year’s a bit better, but this one is touching, amazing and the art direction is pretty cool:
There aren’t many end of the year lists/movies/projects that I post, but I always look forward to this.
Let’s see what we have today. First up, Earth is so pretty:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mL8puJMUDpk
Another reminder, the far-right doesn’t want you to vote, they want to remove your democracy, because it makes it easier for them to win. Keep that in mind.
The karma Wi-Fi hotstop. When you share, you get more data free. Pretty cool, although I wish it was more than 100MB of free data. But still, I love the idea.
Scientists are working on making strides to make phones that can be charged by shaking (or even voice).
And finally, you would think that the Republicans would have gotten some sense after the last election. Now the right-wing members of the House (to be fair, the Republicans in the Senate passed it without any issue) are refusing to pass the Violence Against Women act…because it’s “too supportive of immigrants, the LGBT community and Native Americans.”
So yeah, they certainly couldn’t support those communities. According to the far right, immigrants are just here to steal resources, the LGBT community is icky and going to hell, and well, I’m not sure why they don’t like Native Americans, it seems very strange and out or right field.
And on another note, why is this something that has to be reapproved? I think we can all agree that we should be concerned about domestic violence and we can cut through the bullshit of having to reapprove it every year (or however frequently it needs to be).
So, please, please, please, just remember. Unless you’re a straight, white, male millionaire, the Republican party doesn’t care about you. But I do, however feel, that you can support conservative principles, but the Republican party, in its current form, doesn’t care about you.
That’s it for now, I’ll be back soon, have a great one!
