Written: 11/11/2012

The public outcry at the Boy Scouts is justified.  Completely.

I’ve ranted about it before, there is no excuse for not reporting child molesters to the police.  No amount of internal investigation can match the justice system.

So it’s good to see the public outcry (if only we can have the same for the Catholic Church, and now, the ever-growing evidence against ex-gay counselors).

The Good Men Project has another great article:

It’s time the Boy Scouts of America is held responsible for how it has failed boys over and over and over again over the last four decades. Even more importantly, it’s time we change our culture of silence which protects abusers more than children. It’s time that we do away with the mindset that says the reputation of a serial offender like Kowalski is more important than supporting survivors and preventing future abuse of children.

And finally, it’s time we learn how important it is that we believe abuse survivors, support them, and do our damnedest to get the perpetrators off the street and prevent them from abusing again.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/28/2012

A lot of Eagle Scouts have been returning their medals and badges, and I can’t fault them, I think that it is a good response to the BSA and a way to stand up and denounce their anti LGBT stance, and even as a way of showing the shame at their horrible record of keeping children safe from abusers.

And it says something that even those who aren’t involved in the program (or were only Scouts for a short time) understand the significance:

It breaks my heart to see so many people having to give up their badges to make their point. As a member of the LGBT community and a one-time Scout, I couldn’t express my gratitude enough because I know firsthand the extent of years, patience, and perseverance it takes to reach Eagle. It’s such a tough place to be in when you feel like you have to give that honor up to defend a higher moral standing. I wouldn’t blame anyone for having a difficult time deciding whether or not to give up their badge and I certainly cannot pass judgment.

Will it make a difference?  I still don’t know.  But I certainly hope so.

And if it doesn’t make a difference, at least it lets the world know that we won’t stand for the bigotry.

As for myself, I fought hard for my Eagle, and fought hard to remain in a place to keep it.  So for now I’ll hold onto it.  But maybe that will change in the future.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/28/2012

The courts have released the files of the BSA that show the youth protection incidents.  And more importantly, what the BSA did not do: report those incidents to the police, especially in cases of suspected or confirmed child abuse.

The Good Men Project sums it up:

It is increasingly difficult to comprehend the enormity of the continued unfolding of inaction and unwillingness to protect children through intentional cover-up and denial

All you have to do is go back and reread that sentence.  Now imagine it as the Catholic Church.

And in my mind, the two organizations are just as bad.  I’ve railed against it before.  But you don’t hide the abuse, you don’t try to cover it up or move the leader.  You make sure the child (or adult) is safe in the moment, then you call the police.  Suspend the membership until the investigation is done (innocent until proven guilty of course) and then revoke it if necessary.

There is no excuse for anything else.  None whatsoever and the organization as a whole should be ashamed.

I don’t understand how not to have a hatred towards this kind of institutional abuse.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/27/2012

This is apparently making its rounds on Facebook, although I haven’t seen it yet.  Then again, Facebook recently changed how much of your newsfeed you actually see (but that’s getting in my real world job and will bore most non-communicators out there, so I’ll move on).

I’ts wonderful, so I’m going to post it here in its entirety:

Listen, I know you didn’t mean any harm commenting on this post and I like you, we had some great times growing up. But Romney and Ryan believe that I am less than you. They believe I am a second class citizen and don’t deserve the same rights that you had the privilege of being born into simply by being straight. They want to add a constitutional amendment that will ban gay marriage forever. It will set us back decades and ensure that I never legally have the opportunity to have a family or a partner in my lifetime.

They also believe that being at your partner’s side when he/she is dying is a benefit, not a civil right. They could keep me from my partner dying in a hospital. Could you even imagine something like that in your own life? Being separated from your wife on her death bed? Could you imagine your marriage never being recognized and being told that your family is not a family and you do not deserve any federal rights that comes with marriage. Over 1100 rights.  Did you know that? 1100.

Ryan doesn’t believe in the hate crimes act fought unwaveringly for by Judy Shepard, mother of Matthew Shepard, murdered for being gay in Wyoming. Murdered for being gay. Could you imagine if I was murdered for being gay? Could you really look my mom in the eye and say ‘oh well, we can not prosecute this crime as a hate crime’?

I know there are important issues involved in this campaign. I know people are suffering and the economy has not improved at a rate we all wish it would. Yes, people are suffering but the gay and lesbian community has been suffering for hundreds of years and I am so tired of it. So tired of feeling that I am less than. So tired of knowing I have friends on here who will vote for someone who will keep me a second class citizen for my entire lifetime. I have already spent half a lifetime hiding, half a lifetime conforming. It is exhausting, demeaning and I am worn out. I want to love myself full out.  I want a president who can look me in the eye and say ‘You are equal!’ ‘You are equal to everyone else in this country and I will fight for your rights. The time is now and it is long overdue.’ Romney and Ryan could not look me in the eye and say that and I feel sorry for every gay and questioning child who might have to listen to a president who believes that he/she is not equal. Children will take their lives. It is the WORST form of trickle down bullying and it absolutely splits my heart in half. When the president says you are less than, it gives permission to every authority figure, every politician, every teacher, every bully on the playground to push you around and bully you and treat you less than. It is dangerous and lives will be lost.

If this is not important to you, please remove me from your friends list. I need people in my life who love me and consider me 100% equal.

Now I do have friends who are straight, completely support LGBT equality (DOMA, ENDA, the whole nine yards), but still vote Republican for a variety of reasons.  And that’s okay.  But to those who think that equality is something that doesn’t affect them, they will soon lose me in their lives.

Sadly, this is where I have to put myself.  I’ve put up with so much, and felt so much pain.  I’m moving to a place that unless you support me, and that includes my fight for civil equality, I will not be around you.  I am strong enough to live my life without people, and if I have to choose between those that don’t think I’m equal to them or living a more solitary life, I’ll take the quiet.

I will have one request, at least from certain people, those who I hold out the most hope that they will remain in my life.  They have to look me in the eye and tell me that I don’t deserve the same civil rights and love that they do.  And if they can do that, I will turn around and walk away, and will cut them out of my life forever.

All my best,

The King of Spades