Written: 5/10/2012

Sometimes a news story is seemingly tailor made for me to write about.  Guess this is one of those times.

Recently, in Ohio, a Cub Scout volunteer leader was forced to resign, because she is a lesbian.

First up, she was a den leader.  It can be incredibly difficult to recruit quality volunteers, so the Boy Scouts were certainly shooting themselves in the foot in that respect.

I can sympathize with Tyrrell with wanting her son to be involved, I’ve said it before, Scouting really is a good program.  It taught me so much and was such an integral part of my life growing up.  I met friends I’m still close with, learned so many skills and really did find a place where I felt safe.

Additionally, studies have shown that young people who stay in Scouting are more likely to be successful later in life, learn leadership and skills that provide for them their entire lives.

So it of course saddens me that this discriminatory policy still exists.  The story got picked up all over the net including the Huffington Post.

The kicker I think comes from the local Ohio TV station: 

Even though they revoked her membership, local leaders said it in no way reflects how well she did with the children or how effective she was as a leader. They said it is solely based on her sexual orientation.

 …

Shortly after registering my son for Cub Scouts, I was asked to assume the role of den leader and was persuaded by a platform of tolerance, acceptance and support. Throughout the year, my cubs performed volunteer service at a local soup kitchen, collected canned goods for area churches to distribute in food baskets, participated in bell-ringing for the Salvation Army, and, at the time of my removal, were working on a conservation project for a state park. My Tiger Cubs earned multiple Scout badges for service and skills, while learning and exercising the 12 Core Values of Scouting: citizenship, compassion, cooperation, courage, faith, health & fitness, honesty, perseverance, positive attitude, resourcefulness, respect, and responsibility.  The revocation of my membership came shortly after I was elected treasurer of my pack and uncovered some inconsistencies in the pack’s finances. Within a week of reporting these findings to the council, I received notice that my membership had been revoked, based on my sexual orientation, citing that due to being gay, I did “not meet the high standards of membership that the BSA seeks”

Other adult volunteers in the Pack came to her defense (follow the link to also see her appearance on CNN):

“I’m not a city person. I’m just a backwoods hick, and I don’t think anybody around here have an issue with homosexuals. She did a wonderful job, and what they did to her was just horrible. When I told my son Jen was kicked out because she is gay, he didn’t know what was wrong because he thought gay meant happy. He’s just devastated.””It has been brought to my attention that BSA is now saying that the boys were being taught about sex and other inappropriate subject matter. Those accusations are not true at all. I have three children in Scouts. My youngest Jordan, was a Tiger scout with Jen. Jen has been a great leader in our scouting family. I trust her with my children completely. It is sad that she must be defended against false accusations like these!”

 …

All of those accomplishments that she achieved with these Scouts: these are first graders.  Six years old.  Think of how amazing that is!  I’ll ignore the part about the financial irregularities, although that does kind of speak for itself being retaliation.

Zach Wahls, author and activist had this to share:

I know this because my moms, too, are lesbian parents, and as an Eagle Scout (the highest rank the BSA has to offer) I am acutely aware of the effects this policy has on families like mine. I joined the Cub Scouts when I was just 6 years old, at the lowest rank on the totem pole: Tiger Cub. The fact that my moms were lesbians was controversial in this conservative, central Wisconsin town of 20,000, but the Cub Scout Pack (the equivalent of a Boy Scout Troop) decided to adopt a wait-and-see approach.

Two years later, my moms had become a regular presence at our Pack meetings, offering their thoughts and advice. Slowly, the other parents learned that my moms were not, in fact, insidious agents advancing some nefarious agenda; they were simply concerned with making sure their son (me!) had an enjoyable and enriching experience in the Scouting program — and this sounded strangely familiar to the other parents.

In 1998 our Pack had grown so much that they needed another adult leader, a Den Leader, to help with the boys in my age group. No other parents stepped up, so Jackie, my short mom, volunteered and became Pack 381’s first lesbian Den Mother.

Gay4Soccer, a site about exactly what you think it is about, chimes in, as the BSA has a partnership with MLS, and a member of the board of that council has resigned over the incident:

My grandfather was an Eagle scout, my father was an Eagle scout and I am an Eagle Scout. Other than his family and his Christian faith, the most important thing in my father’s life was the Boy Scouts. The lived and breathed scouting. That is what makes this decision so exceedingly difficult and emotional. However, I know that my father would support my decision.

Best wishes to you, Ohio River Valley Council and the Boy Scouts of America in future endeavors. I hope that the powers that be will look into their hearts and find the wisdom and courage to re-examine the policies of the Boy Scouts of America.

And here is her appearance with her family at the GLAAD awards:

And on the other side of the fence, right-wing organizations are attacking Tyrrell, total victim-blaming.

Is the BSA wrong?  Of course it is.  Do I blame Tyrrell?  No, she was just trying to provide a quality program for her son and other children in her neighborhood, which by all accounts she did.  It is a shame to see her kicked out like that, but I do hope that the stir that this has caused will force the National Board to think about how their policies hurt families, communities and most importantly, children.

These policies also apply to youth members, not just adults, but that is not for this post.  I would just like to reiterate how much Scouting helped me by giving me a safe place to be myself, even if I wasn’t comfortable with myself or even fully aware of my sexuality at the time.  But looking back, especially on my time serving as camp staff, some of the best staff members in the history of our camp are gay.  Maybe we all felt like we had something extra to prove, or maybe we’re just like everyone else: honest people trying to do our best in a job we’re given and at the same time, making life-long friends and making positive differences in the lives of children.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 5/10/2012

I have a series of posts entitled “Friends don’t let friends stay Catholic: it’s a glorified hate group.”  Right now, I think I’m up to five parts.  In them, I look at a few different things, originally focusing on the horrific global cover-up of child abuse.  Although to be fair, the hate group designation could apply to many, many groups.

However, I’m happy to be Episcopalian.  It’s like Catholic Light, without the guilt and with rational thinking.  Anglicanism (more on that in a minute) is commonly referred to as a three-legged stool: Tradition, which makes us like that Catholics, Scripture, which makes us like the Protestants and Reason, which is exclusively Anglican, or at least sometimes it seems.

A few years ago, our bigot of a Bishop decided that he had had enough of the Episcopal church: ordaining gay bishops was bad enough, but once we confirmed a woman as the Presiding Bishop (the highest office in the US), that was just too much for him.  He split off and is now aligned with an Anglican diocese in South America, while the rest of us (sadly the minority in Pittsburgh) stayed loyal.

But anyway, I’ve been doing some pro bono work with a charity group working within the Episcopal Church to push for LGBT rights, and Rites.  Integrity USA is a good organization, and their blog is pretty awesome, here’s the image I wanted to share:

It is nice to see that, and from what I’ve experienced, it’s true.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 5/10/2012

First up, the Pittsburgh Pirates, who just released an It Gets Better video, and will be working with the Pittsburgh Gay and Lesbian Center to do programs, pretty awesome.  But as I noted at Metblogs, kind of ironic that the most-losing team in professional sports saying that it gets better.  We’re only losing season number 20 in a row…so I’m not exactly holding my breath.

They’ve been a supporter in the past, but Anheuser-Busch has told UFC that their fighters must stop with their anti-gay remarks, else they’ll stop advertising.  Which is a great benefit of capitalism, money really does talk.

And probably the biggest “endorsement” so to say, is President Obama himself:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7jZbF_SO3U

To say this is historic would be accurate.  Never before has there been a sitting president who has spoken out in support of marriage equality.  Yes, I disagree that it should be left up to the states, and maybe Obama himself disagrees with that, we’re never quite sure.  I’ve always admired how brilliant Obama is with the long game, so there might be even more “evolutions” of his stance around the election, but we’ll see.

For now though, I’ll celebrate the fact that he has once again, publicly supported marriage equality, and trust that he and his legal team can bring down DOMA once and for all.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 5/2/2012

It’s kind of like the merger of this and Warhol’s Phone, where I sometimes, when I remember to, blog about communication in Pittsburgh.  But this was too good to not share, courtesy of BuzzFeed:

It’s running in North Carolina where they vote today on a constitutional amendment to ban marriage equality.

Not much else I can add, really.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 5/2/2012

Once again, to beat this dead horse, in case you didn’t know, men can’t change their sexual orientation:

 By the end of the 1990s, the only [people from our organization] doing well were those who’d accepted they were gay and found a partner. It was as if a great burden had been shifted, that they thought, “Now at last I know who I am. I know I’m in love with somebody and they love me.” I thought, this is the kind of result we hoped they’d achieve living an upright Christian life, but they’re finding that contentment just being themselves. I began to think that perhaps we’d got it really wrong.

I still run Courage, but now it’s with a belief that you can be gay and Christian. We offer a chance to meet other gay Christians and support committed same-sex relationships. It’s been difficult for my wife, because she’s naturally very concerned that I might therefore decide, “That’s it, I want to go and find a man.” But we’re coming up to retirement age and I wouldn’t feel happy just to leave her—feeling abandoned after all we’ve been through together. Ours may not be the traditional heterosexual romance, but the care for one another’s wellbeing is just as real. I try not to look back, but I know I’ve missed out in a big way—and so has she. She should have been with some heterosexual guy who adored her, as she should be adored.

That was from the founder of a “ex-gay ministry.”

All my best,

The King of Spades