Written: 2/21/2012

Sometimes it’s hard to remember that we’ve made so much progress under President Obama:

The Obama administration on Friday said it would not defend the constitutionality of statutes blocking same-sex military spouses from receiving marriage benefits — including rights to visitation in military hospitals, survivor benefits, and burial together in military cemeteries.

In a letter to the House speaker, John A. Boehner, Attorney General Eric H. Holder Jr. said that the Justice Department shared the view of plaintiffs in a lawsuit in Massachusetts that such laws — including a part of the Defense of Marriage Act, and statutes governing veterans’ benefits — are unconstitutional.

Good for the administration.

In the bigger picture, this belongs on a growing list of positive steps the administration has taken in this area over the last three years. The president and his team, though still “evolving” on marriage equality, have successfully repealed the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law, expanded federal benefits for the same-sex partners of executive-branch employees, signed the Hate Crimes Prevention Act into law, cleared the way for hospital-visitation rights for same-sex couples, lifted the travel/immigration ban on those with HIV/AIDS, ordered the Federal Housing Authority to no longer consider the sexual orientation of applicants on loans, expanded the Census to include the number of people who report being in a same-sex relationship, and directed U.S. agencies abroad to ensure our humanitarian and diplomatic efforts “promote and protect” the rights of gays and lesbians.

At the same time, Obama has also endorsed repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, and stopped trying to defend DOMA against federal court challenges.

Let’s just make this a bullet list for easy reading:

• Stop defending statues blocking same sex-military spouses from receiving marriage benefits
• Repeal of DADT
• Expanded federal benefits for same sex partners of executive branch employees
• Hate Crimes Prevention Act
• Hospital visitation rights for same-sex couples
• Lifted the travel and immigration ban on those with HIV/AIDS
• Ordered HUD to no longer consider sexual orientation on loans
• Expanded the census to include same-sex couples
• Directed US agencies abroad to promote and protect the rights of the LGBT community
• Endorsed the repeal of DOMA and stopped defending it in the courts

Written: 2/21/2012

Over at Slog, they are dissecting a dumb anti-gay argument.

Basically it goes that some members of the LGBT community would not take a pill making them straight, if such a thing existed.

Really, in the eyes of bigots, it’s going to be damned if you do, damned if you don’t, but we’ll ignore that for this moment.

Now yes, I often say that no one would choose this life for themselves.  Why would anyone want to be the subject of hatred and bigotry, discrimination in the workplace, housing, pay and marriage rights.  Being blamed for all kinds of things from natural disasters to terrorist attacks?

But this is how I am.  Who I am.  I can’t imagine not being me.  Yes, life is hard, much harder than it should be, but I have to look at the positive and take what I can get and make the most out of my life.

And I would bet someone who is straight would say the same thing.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/21/2012

Remember how I talked about protesting too much, and how usually those who do are guilty of what they’re railing against?

Well, in case you missed it, check out the story of Sheriff Babeu, who has been a huge anti-immigration proponent who was…wait for it…sleeping with another man who is (possibly) an illegal immigrant.

He threatened the man to keep the story secret, but it exploded in his face.  I’m posting about it since he also came out at the same time as talking about the relationship, so there’s the gay connection.  Read more about it here.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

But not about me.  

First up, Dan Savage responds to someone who was yelled at for “doing kink wrong,” by not following the old guard rules with his partner.  Savage, smartly, takes the side of, do what feels good to you and your partner, and ignore those who try to control you.  From what I’ve been reading online, Pittsburgh tends to leave the “old guard” behind and do what they want, which I can appreciate, and it suits the ‘burgh.

And secondly, you probably heard about a couple in Portland who got arrest on Valentine’s day, for suspected kidnapping.  They were acting out a kink scene in public (one, it’s not cool to involve those who don’t want to be involved, and two, don’t act this out in public places) and the cops were called when innocent passerby’s thought it was a real kidnapping.  Also, they met on craigslist and hadn’t met in person before the scene (way unsafe).  A funny story for us though!

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

Here’s what’s been going on on the law side of the LGBT debate:

Kansas decides once again to leave it’s anti-sodomy laws on the books, even though they’ve been ruled obsolete by the Supreme Court.  Thank goodness they won’t repeal those laws, we might think we’re real people.

An essay about ENDA, the employee non-discrimination act.  Because it’s not on the books (and since any version would probably include a non-profit exclusion), I can be fired for coming out.  And that’s what happened when a Church’s music director married his husband.

Update: The Obama administration is going to stop defending laws that discriminate against same sex spouses of military members.  This is awesome, and where DOMA will really start to fall.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

It’s hard being gay in the United States, but I have to remember that it’s much worse elsewhere.

A gay man was forced by his employer to marry a woman or else lose his job (this also broke up with woman’s first marriage, by the way).  All because he was asking for equal rights.

And in Sweden, the government is castrating members of the transgendered community.  This is heartbreaking, infuriating and evil, all wrapped into one:

It’s bad here, but it’s worse elsewhere.  Always good to put things in perspective.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

Hilarious new channel on youtube: drunk grindr.  Here are my two favorite episodes:

Here’s the theme music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooF2d567xHM

All my best,

The King of Spades