Written: 7/14/2012

A local blog just restarted, the author is a regular guest host on a podcast I listen to, so it’s nice to see him writing again.

This post was very needed, touching and heart-wrenching at the same time:

No matter how much I inform her and try to educate her about my sexuality, it does no good. She knows what the Catholic Church says about people like me and that’s all she needs to know. In her words, “It’s my cross to carry”. When the time is right though, I will let her know. I’ll probably hear a *tisk tisk* as she lower her head in shame and disappointment. I’m preparing myself for that moment cause I know it will be like a knife in the heart. Definitely not the response anyone wants to hear when sharing the amazing news of being engaged.

But this is her and I accept that. I didnt choose this way of life for myself. But she is choosing to go through her life feeling the way she does

Make sure to go check it out and read along.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 6/23/2012

Two stories from the opening of camp.

First, during director’s week, a friend of mine, who is working as an Aquatics Director at one of the camps, proclaimed that he is just waiting for a leader to say something homophobic about his assistant director, so he can tear him down and put him in his place (not to say that women aren’t at camp, or won’t be homophobic, it’s just easier to write out that way).

One of his assistants comes off as gay.  Not sure if he is, but the important fact is that he’s a great worker.  He always volunteers when work needs done, is always engaged, and has a great rapport with the other staff members and the instructors he’s leading.  That’s what made my friend defensive of him, the quality of his work.

The second story, is sadly one that is all too common for me.  My one boss, I’m fairly certain knows that I’m gay, and I think he holds it over my head.  It’s bullying and harassment, but none that I can report without losing my job, so I’m stuck.

He and another long-term summer camp staff member “planted” two magazines in my desk as a joke, no biggie.  One, a gun catalog (which I did find a bit funny, since I’m a pacifist) and the other a Maxim.  However, when I moved to throw them out (since I was actually trying to get some work done), they instead opened to the inside cover, which features a mostly naked man in a cologne ad.

Now, to be fair, they did ask the question which I also through inside my head, why run an ad like that in Maxim?  But anyway, they then reveled in asking me how much I liked that ad, as opposed to the other images in the magazine.

The long-time staff member however, the next day, made sure to reprimand young staff members when he was calling a policy “gay.”  He didn’t realize I overheard him, but his rationale was that I was nearby and would hear, and be offended.  It was actually a touching moment.

So I am conflicted, I like to think that the long-time staff member and I are friends.  I have a real hard time trusting the camp staff, even my friends, and I hate that.  These people are my friends and my family, but I can’t trust them or be close to them.

I am, if nothing else, professional.

Update: That first story, has so much more meaning now than before, I’ll be writing about it later for sure.

Sorry, more ramblings.

All my best,

The King of Spades