Written: 07/22/2011

To celebrate the beginning of Marriage Equality in New York, two of the characters from Avenue Q are getting “married.”  They’re puppets, so they can’t.  But it’s still awesome!

AHAHAHAHA.  I’m a child sometimes.

Rob Tish, is of course, brilliant.

That’s delicious. Let me rephrase it. Here’s the cake:  You can’t get married because it’ll mess with my decor!

And here’s the frosting:  You’re selfish and self-centered for not living your life around my decor!

And again, Rob Tish is brilliant:

In New York, you’ve got state employees demanding you pass their personal religious test before they’ll help you. That’s not religious freedom. In fact, it’s the opposite.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 07/22/2011

It’s a combination of me loving the song, as well as the beginning of wedding plans for my brother, but I can’t stop watching this video:

And a follow up, this awesome video from the HRC:

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 07/01/2011

Dan Savage has written many times about the fact that opponents of equality say that homosexuality is a choice.  And if it is a choice, they should choose to blow him…and like it.

I know I’ve quoted him along those lines a few times, and I finally found it on video.  It’s past the 10 minute mark, but the whole interview is great (Savage and Olbermann ran into each other a performance of “Book of Mormon”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkpx8QwlWX4

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 07/01/2011

Note: I can’t find the graph, but I’ll keep an eye out for it

Take a look at the graph above.

It was illegal to be in a relationship in some parts of the country until 2003.  That year, the Supreme Court struck down any remaining “sodomy” laws.

Yes, we’ve come a long way, but let’s not sugar coat it.  Any relationship I would have been in, less than ten years ago, would have been illegal in parts of the country.

It’s hard when we hear politicians ask us to wait, when we’re told we’re not a priority.  Why should our rights have to wait?

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/25/2011

I did want to go down to Pride this year, but alas, work gets in the way, not only because I really shouldn’t have gone down, but also because the day Pride in the Streets fell was staff check in at camp, so I was gathering tax paperwork for 200 staff members to get them paid.  Ugh.

Anyway, I’ve been reading a lot about the Pride celebrations going on across the country.  And I’ve found that Pride has morphed into less about declaring that we’re here (we’ve done that), but more about celebrating what we’ve done, what we’ve overcome and what we will do.

A true celebration, that incorporates everyone.  Especially the straight allies, we could not have made it to where we are without them.

So what have we accomplished, what have we survived?  NoFo has a great post:

We’re proud because despite relentless persecution everywhere we turn—when organized religion viciously attacks and censures and vilifies us in the name of selective morality, when our families disown us, when our elected officials bargain away our equality for hate votes, when entire states codify our families into second-class citizenship, when our employers fire us, when our landlords evict us, when our police harass us, when our neighbors and colleagues and fellow citizens openly insult and condemn and mock and berate and even beat and kill us—we continue to survive.

Quite simply, we’re proud that we have so much to be proud of.

The Village Voice also has the darker side of Pride and what we have to be proud of.  Interesting read, but I want to stay positive.

Also, on a side note, it took me freaking forever to find Pittsburgh Pride’s logo.  And it’s an awesome logo, I love it!  But it is in two places on the Internet.  Not good.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/25/2011

The Fox Den is a favorite blog of mine.  He’s a kinky gay man from the Midwest, and I love how he is always working to break down the barriers that stand in the LGBT community:

We still have walls to break down in our communities though.  Particularly, the leather/rubber/kink/fetish communities still have a reason to have a Pride parade.  We live in a world where it’s still not okay to be “out” and kinky.  Most people don’t feel comfortable with their friends, family, and co-workers knowing that someone likes to squeeze into some rubber or leather and get tied up or have casual sex on the weekends.  It’s just too much of a taboo subject and most “family” oriented people can’t handle it.  Even within our OWN gay community, people who are into kinks are often looked down on.

Make sure to read the whole article, about the smallest pride parade I’ve heard of, and his adventures dancing on a bar stage in skin-tight leather jeans (although, do they still count as jeans if they aren’t denim?).

Tolerance is wonderful, isn’t it?

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/25/2011

This actually surprised me:

A new study by the Center for Work-Life Policy think tank has found that 48 percent of college-educated lesbian and gay Americans hide their sexual orientation at work.

I honestly didn’t think it would be that high.  Maybe I’m a little relieved that I’m not as alone as I thought: but then again, even though I’m not unique, I’m certainly alone.

Here’s the kicker:

Gay and lesbians who are not out at work are more likely to report job-related stress and isolation than their peers, and are also more likely to say they want to leave their current jobs. When coworkers chat about their husbands or wives and their weekend plans, closeted co-workers fall silent. This result is an isolated feeling that they can’t bring their “whole selves” to work, the authors say, which affects productivity and job satisfaction.

And the study continues here:

Our research suggests that many are hiding needlessly and that “out” workers may stand a better chance than closeted workers of being promoted (although there are still relatively few openly gay senior executives). This appears to be the case largely because closeted workers suffer anxiety about how colleagues and managers might judge them and expend enormous effort concealing their orientation, which leaves them less energy for actual work. Further, LGBT workers who feel forced to lie about their identity and relationships typically don’t engage in collegial banter about such things as weekend activities—banter that forges important workplace bonds. Some 42% of closeted employees said they felt isolated at work, versus only 24% of openly LGBT employees. These factors may explain why 52% of all closeted employees, but just 36% of out employees, believe their careers have stalled. The disparity is greatest among midlevel employees, with 70% of closeted middle managers reporting that they feel stalled, versus 51% of openly LGBT middle managers.

I run so much on all cylinders, that when I get a moment to stop, I collapse.  The energy needed to keep my mouth shut, to pretend that everything is okay, even when slurs are being thrown around me, is exhausting.

I would be very happy to stay with the BSA if they would change their policies, I feel like I could even help implement workplace protections and improve the culture.  I know that I would have more energy to put into all the long hours that I work, including all the nights and weekends.  But I can’t do both.  I can’t continue to work as much as I do while hiding my life from everyone, even I don’t have that much energy.

I just don’t know how soon I’m going to run to empty.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/25/2011

The top enlisted Marine (Command Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps, Michael Barrett, speaking to troops in South Korea) said this recent:

Article 1, Section 8 of the Constitution is pretty simple. It says, ‘Raise an army.’ It says absolutely nothing about race, color, creed, sexual orientation. You all joined for a reason: to serve. To protect our nation, right? How dare we, then, exclude a group of people who want to do the same thing you do right now, something that is honorable and noble? Right? Get over it. We’re magnificent, we’re going to continue to be. Let’s just move on, treat everybody with firmness, fairness, dignity, compassion and respect. Let’s be Marines.

Why can’t the BSA figure this out?  Here is their official mission statement:

The mission of the Boy Scouts of America is to prepare young people to make ethical and moral choices over their lifetimes by instilling in them the values of the Scout Oath and Scout Law.

The national board just happens to think that the Scout Oath and Law should discriminate against the LGBT community.  But I don’t see it in there.  For those wondering, here they are:

Scout Oath

On my honor I will do my best
to do my duty to God and my country
and to obey the Scout Law;
to help other people at all times;
to keep myself physically strong,
mentally awake, and morally straight.

Scout Law

A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent.

I must have missed it in there somewhere.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/15/2011

My job at summer camp this year has put  me at a different desk, in what used to be the Reservation Director’s office (a wall has since been removed to join it with the office behind it, and I now share the large room).

But as we were setting things up and moving furniture and whatnot, a poem, which had been written over a picture of the lake, fell off the wall.  Some of the guys picked it up and asked about it, before putting it on the desk.  It turns out the author was gay.

Note: I took the photo home with me that summer, to made sure it was safe, and it always brings a smile to my face when I see it.

So the jokes and slurs started to fly.  Camp is a tough place, and for a gay member of the Scouts, it’s even harder.  It’s pretty much acceptable to throw around slurs, and the homophobia can run rampant.  I tried to ignore it, but even for me, someone who has learned to ignore so much, and has kept quiet for so long, it was getting to be too much.

I eventually walked away, even though the jokes and slurs continued behind me.  Falling asleep was tough that night, especially imagining the the looks of anger and sadness that I’m sure many of my friends will have.

But I have to remember that it’s their loss, not mine.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 06/05/2011

Our Chief Scout Executive, who is the CEO of the entire Boy Scouts of America, keeps a blog.  It’s pretty good, mostly ralling the troops and such, although during the Iowa tornado tragedy two years ago, it was a great resource to find up to date information about the clean up and his raw thoughts on everything.

But anyway, I still like to think (eternal optimist I suppose), that things can change.  I know that the Scouting program really is a good influence on youth, even those who feel pushed to the sidelines by it.  I know it made a difference for me, in a very positive way, so I always hope that our discrimintory policies can change.

But sometimes I need the rah rah, rally the troops.  And the latest blog entry did just that.  For whatever reason, only BSA employees can read the blog, so I’ll post the bit here:

As we were eating breakfast, a soldier in fatigues came over to our table and introduced himself. He proceeded to thank us for our service to the Boy Scouts. He has served 5 terms in the Middle East and the Boy Scouts has helped his son deal with his father’s absence. Of course, we thanked him for his service. It really humbled us because here is this guy who has repeatedly put his life on the line in a war zone thanking us for our ‘one hour a week’ service because it had helped his son.”

All my best,

The King of Spades