Wherein I find some statistics about closeted workers

Written: 06/25/2011

This actually surprised me:

A new study by the Center for Work-Life Policy think tank has found that 48 percent of college-educated lesbian and gay Americans hide their sexual orientation at work.

I honestly didn’t think it would be that high.  Maybe I’m a little relieved that I’m not as alone as I thought: but then again, even though I’m not unique, I’m certainly alone.

Here’s the kicker:

Gay and lesbians who are not out at work are more likely to report job-related stress and isolation than their peers, and are also more likely to say they want to leave their current jobs. When coworkers chat about their husbands or wives and their weekend plans, closeted co-workers fall silent. This result is an isolated feeling that they can’t bring their “whole selves” to work, the authors say, which affects productivity and job satisfaction.

And the study continues here:

Our research suggests that many are hiding needlessly and that “out” workers may stand a better chance than closeted workers of being promoted (although there are still relatively few openly gay senior executives). This appears to be the case largely because closeted workers suffer anxiety about how colleagues and managers might judge them and expend enormous effort concealing their orientation, which leaves them less energy for actual work. Further, LGBT workers who feel forced to lie about their identity and relationships typically don’t engage in collegial banter about such things as weekend activities—banter that forges important workplace bonds. Some 42% of closeted employees said they felt isolated at work, versus only 24% of openly LGBT employees. These factors may explain why 52% of all closeted employees, but just 36% of out employees, believe their careers have stalled. The disparity is greatest among midlevel employees, with 70% of closeted middle managers reporting that they feel stalled, versus 51% of openly LGBT middle managers.

I run so much on all cylinders, that when I get a moment to stop, I collapse.  The energy needed to keep my mouth shut, to pretend that everything is okay, even when slurs are being thrown around me, is exhausting.

I would be very happy to stay with the BSA if they would change their policies, I feel like I could even help implement workplace protections and improve the culture.  I know that I would have more energy to put into all the long hours that I work, including all the nights and weekends.  But I can’t do both.  I can’t continue to work as much as I do while hiding my life from everyone, even I don’t have that much energy.

I just don’t know how soon I’m going to run to empty.

All my best,

The King of Spades