A great piece entitled “The Boy Scouts made me gay,” here are a couple choice quotes:

As a young New Yorker questioning his sexuality during the Reagan years, I turned to the Boy Scouts, Ed Koch, and episodes of Magnum P.I., to reaffirm my red-blooded masculinity. One would think the Scouts were my best bet to be on the straight and narrow. But after securing Merit badges in bird watching, gardening, pottery, and theater—to say nothing of the extracurricular fun we had earning the plumbing and leatherwork merit badges—I came to realize that I was, well, screwed. It was as if I were living in my own private Yossi & Jaggerprequel (but with regrettably fewer Israelis). I’m not blameless—and should have seen the signs earlier. With form-fitting military uniforms and requisite neckerchiefs, overnight camping trips in close quarters, and the National Jamboree—whose slogan is “Go Big. Get Wild!”—my heterosexuality didn’t stand a chance.

It’s kind of funny, and I’m sure, very common.

The BSA cites the U.S. Constitution in defense of its admission policies, reminding critics that if we don’t like the way they operate, we don’t have to join. Many corporate sponsors, including Intel and UPS (but not yet Verizon. Can you hear me now?) have taken them up on their offer.

This is a valuable lesson for everyone to learn.  Yes, it’s a private organization, and we don’t have to join.  And by the same token, we don’t have to donate.  And we don’t have to remain silent to encourage others to stop donating.

And, more importantly, it’s not as if we’re asking for permission to join.  We’ve been members for as long as the organization has existed, we’re just asking to be allowed to be honest.  You know, trustworthy.

I never realized that the “honest and trustworthy” portions of the Boy Scout oath operated on a sliding scale.

It’s been a while, and I apologize, although I hope you’ve been enjoying the other posts I’ve put up, there’s some fun stuff there.

If you read nothing else, and watch nothing else, read this amazing article from Rob.  Here’s the crux:

You’re safer leaving your son in the care of  a man who says that he’s gay than with a man who says that he’s not.

Next up, Literally Unbelievable, one of my favorite blogs hits it out of the park (and so of course, so does The Onion):

 

And here’s the deal, some kids know they’re LGBT when they’re in kindergarden.  Some people don’t figure it out until they’re in high school or college.  Some anti-gay, Republican lawmakers still haven’t figured it out (Larry Craig), the point is we’re each on our own journey.  What we should be worried about is supporting all kids, giving them a place they feel safe and helping them become better community leaders.

Lawmakers in California are mulling stripping the BSA of their tax exempt status.  Now to be fair, that policy should be extended to all groups that discriminate, not just the BSA, nor do I think it will pass, but it’s interesting to see.  Non-profits work on a shoe string budget, and this would certainly cause some cuts to be made.

You may have heard that the BSA will hire convicted criminals, but not anyone who is LGBT.  This looks like it’s just a local council application, but, it is actually illegal to deny employment (at least I think it is) based on criminal background.  You can certainly find something else, but that can’t be the official reason.  The reason the BSA can discriminate against the LGBT community is because they are a 501(c)3, which are normally exempt from non-discrimination laws, such as what we have in Allegheny County.

There was a rally in Texas where Scouts (in uniform) were used as a backdrop to support the ban, Gov. Perry let us know he supports the ban, and Ameriblog looks at the connection between DADT, the BSA, the Mormons and pro football:

“Now that the armed forces ban on openly gay service members has been lifted, and polls show increasing acceptance of same-sex marriage, most American voters think it’s time to open up the Boy Scouts, too,” said Peter Brown, assistant director of Quinnipiac’s Polling Institute.

James Dale, from the original lawsuit, has spoken out again in support of lifting the ban:

With this one letter, the work to which I had dedicated more than half of my young life came completely undone. I was devastated. Yet, it was precisely the sense of leadership, respect, equality and community that the Scouts had instilled in me that would not allow me to accept this injustice, done not just to me but to countless other young gay people who had found a home in the Boy Scouts of America. Not fighting my expulsion from the Scouts would have been a betrayal of all I’d learned in the Scouts….

…If sexual issues are not brought up in the Scouting environment — and in my experience, they never were, until an outside party publicized my homosexuality — that’s all the more reason that it should not matter if some members happen to be gay. It has no impact on their ability to earn an American heritage merit badge, join the Order of the Arrow or achieve lifelong Eagle Scout status.

And just remember, the hateful policy affects people, but we carry on.  An Eagle Scout and EMT was killed by a drunk driver. Flags were at half mast and the community has been rocked.  And he made a moving It Gets Better video:

As the vote that didn’t happen approached, 1.4 million signatures were delivered, President Obama reaffirmed his stance that the program should embrace equality (so did Romney by the way) and the Human Rights Campaign has said what we’re all thinking though, that the end of the ban as proposed, still would leave rampant discrimination.  I don’t think it will happen, and I think their proposal is a small first step, but a step in the right direction.  I guess I’m torn, but I’ll take any progress.

Two gay brothers share their Scouting story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFdmNx9drzE

Ameriblog also covers the Mormon Church.  They have a chance to make a difference, to embrace their own dogmatic change they made last year (proclaiming that LGBT persons can be members of their church), but time will tell.  I’m not holding my breath.

Zach Wahls, from Scouts for Equality eviscerates a homophobic parent on CNN and Carol Costello does the same to the head of the FRC.

Zach also spoke to Democracy, Now:

And this is just a reminder, there always have been LGBT members of the BSA and there always will be.  We’re just pushing for equality, trustworthiness and an organization that tells an entire swath of the population that they are broken.

And that’s what we have to change.  I fight for this change, not for me (although I would like to go back to volunteer at camp), but for the kids coming after us.  They all need our support, straight and gay, and the BSA needs to be a program that is inclusive and affirms that all youth, no matter their sexuality, have worth.

All my best,

Mike

The Atlantic has a beautiful piece about two men who used the Scout Law as part of the wedding vows:

For us, earning our Eagle was about much more than learning to tie knots or build a fire in the rain. Although those are important skills scouts learn along the way, at its core, the Boy Scouts is about imparting the amorphous but critical skill of leadership. The basic premise of scouting is to build a future generation of leaders, to grow a cadre of young men who embody the moral and ethical virtues of a society and have the capacity to mobilize those values for good.

That’s why there is such a push to make the movement embrace equality.  It’s a great program and offers so much to its members.  It’s also so prevalent, that we need to fight against such a large organization telling children they are somehow broken.

The piece continues:

As potential parents, we, too, doubt that the institution’s moral edifice can persist under a continued posture of discrimination. The chilly November weekend that we proposed to each other, we were backpacking along a lone ridge in the Massanutten mountain range when we came across the only other group of people braving the cold that weekend—a scout troop from Virginia. After they passed, we pondered what role, if any, the Boy Scouts would play in our lives if we ended up adopting a son. We resented the idea that a child of ours would be told, from day one, that his parents were morally deficient — so much so that they could not be trusted to participate in the day-to-day activities of scouts.

It’s a great article, please have a read if you have a few minutes.

All my best,

Mike

I honestly didn’t expect to be doing so much writing so quickly, I didn’t expect the BSA to move as fast as it has.  But I’m more than happy to have come out, guns blazing, if it means making the world a better place for those coming after me.

The first post of the week (The case against discrimination), was something I had worked on in the past, and of course, wish I had more time with.  I still obsess over word choice and phrasing and presenting the best case I possibly can.  But, I didn’t have any more time to wait.  I’m not sure if it changed anyone’s mind, but I certainly hope it helped or at least showed the science and logical proof to ending this ban.

I’ll be getting back to working on the feature “The secrets of the slideshows” and more regular blogging as well, I’m sure you’ve all missed that (again, let me have my fantasies that I have a massive, world-wide audience).  The slideshows themselves were very cathartic, actually.

They were the one gift that I could give the entire staff.  I worked with so many staff members, that honestly, unless you were around for three or more years, were a key staff member I worked with on a daily basis, or really screwed up your paperwork, I wasn’t going to remember you.  It was just the nature of the beast, sadly when you have about 250 staff members and C.I.T.s at Heritage and CSM, not to mention the staff I worked with at Guyasuta (I didn’t do Twin Echo staff, but I think that was going to change).

But the slideshow let me give everyone a gift.  Yes, the pictures were fun, and sometimes there were themes that emerged, but it was the music that I loved the most.  And if you listen to the music, you can probably hear hints of me in the selections I made.  I hope you’ll go back and watch the slideshows if you were on staff those years, I’ll be working on that series over the next few weeks.

But for the last post in this special series, I wanted to reproduce a Scoutmaster’s Minute:

Whose camp is it?

Scouts who come to Heritage Reservation for the first time ask “Who owns Heritage?” Well,
the answer to that is pretty simple. The Laurel Highlands Council, and because your unit is
from this area, that makes you a part of the Council. So in a way, you are a part owner of this
wonderful place.

But you are an owner of Heritage Reservation in a more important way. Every youth who
camps here leaves a little bit of themselves with this camp. The improvement project you
participate in, your care of the land and the water, your responsibility in not littering or
destroying any living thing or damaging any property stays here as part of you. That not only
makes you an owner of Heritage, it makes you a permanent part of it.

Pittsburgh (Plum, specifically) is the home of W. D. Boyce, the founder of the BSA.  He was a newspaper titan, and on a trip to London, got lost in the fog and was helped by a Scout, who refused to accept a tip from him.  He was so impressed by the program that he brought the program back to the United States.

And as it turns out, Boyce’s grandson, William Boyce Mueller, was gay.  Boyce never lived to meet his grandson, but do you really think he would have wanted the organization he founded to exclude his own relative?  Only a monster would expect that.

It’s an easy point to make, but maybe that just means it’s too easily overlooked: the Scout Law calls us to be trustworthy, friendly and kind.  The admonition of the Order of the Arrow calls us to love one another.  It’s not hard to treat one another with dignity and respect, and in doing so, supporting the children who may need the organization the most.  I’m not asking for much, just for a common recognition of our humanity.  We’re all in this together, after all.

I’ve neglected it, but I have to give a special shout out to Alpha Phi Omega.  The brothers I worked with in the past (I was the advisor for a section conference as well as started Scouting University at SVC), have been very supportive.  APO has always had a close relationship with Scouting, and they’ve had their own issues to work through, mainly the integration of women, but they tend to move forward much faster and with much less drama.

And a special thank you to everyone who has read along, commented and sent me messages.  I never expected to get anywhere near the reaction that I have.  It’s been wonderful to talk with you all, reminisce about some fond memories, and also realize that I have much more support than I thought I did.  So thank you.

I hope that you can see why I think people should be judged on their actions, and their works, not on how they were created.  Why should a simple difference in hormones (in utero no less) be more important that the work I did over 11 summers (and five full-time years).  I think that if you worked with me, you can understand the sentiment.

A very good friend likes to call me “the glue” (and a couple others have picked up the phrase as well).  I still argue that I wasn’t that important, that I was easily replaceable.   But I look back and see the 10,000 people I got registered for camp each year, the 100+ hour week I put in for MountainFest (including the marathon 20 hour day of registration), the program we put together for 10,000 campers at Campaganza, the 700 people at Volunteer Celebration and the untold sold-out Winter Weekends, and the myriad of other weekend events, website launches, graphic design projects and insurance thrown at me, and the fact that it took two people to “replace” me, maybe I was a little important.

I mentioned it before, but I think it bears repeating, especially after this week of posts.  Oftentimes, I forget that I’m out.  There are much more interesting things about me, and quite frankly, unless we’re dating, my sexuality isn’t going to affect you.

So it is my wish that people can look past who I love (but I’d rather welcome you to that celebration, anyway), and remember the work ethic, and the smile.  And realize, we’re not so different.

I hope you enjoyed this week of posts and I hope you learned something along the way.  I’ll be back, we still have a host of other rights to fight for, but for now, I just hope I made a positive impact.  Thanks for reading.

All my best,

Mike

The title, of course, is a nod to the “fireside chats” we had with Victor (I’ll have to tell the story of how Freedom threw him for a loop by all pointing “north” correctly).  The point was synergy: that when we work together, the outcome is greater than the sum of the parts.

It took me by surprise, but after leaving the BSA, I actually heard about a few other staff members who are LGBT.  Certainly there were some in the past that I worked with (having worked during two distinct time periods, generations, if you will, of camp staff, as well as for four different reservation directors), but they were all long gone.

Literally, friends I was working with every day, were also hiding, forced to, or risk losing their job.  And that’s the most insidious aspect of the discriminatory policy: the profound isolation that LGBT scouts (and adults and staff members) feel.

Unable to talk to anyone about it, you continue on thinking you’re the only one who is different.  When that’s not the case.  I just hope that LGBT youth realize they’re not alone, not nearly as isolated as they think.

The original discriminatory ban was put in place not due to some archaic reading of the words “morally straight,” or at least, that’s not the real underlying reason.  The BSA, like any non-profit, has real, legitimate business concerns.

That’s the nature of the non-profit world, and it makes sense: you have to have money to run an organization.  Grants and other streams of funding are oftentimes attached to how effective you can prove your organization and previous work has been.  Again, that’s just how the non-profit world works, across the board.

And to keep charter partners (and consequently the number of youth in the program, as opposed to having to find new charter partners would not guarantee all the youth moved), the BSA caved to pressure, mostly from the Mormon Church.  Certainly other large groups, religious and civic, were in support of the ban, and to keep those large percentages of charter partners, the policy was enacted.

But times change, slowly of course, and now the BSA is faced with the stark reality that it’s not profitable, in terms of money or public opinion, to demonize the LGBT community.  The majority of Americans support marriage equality and even as we continue to fight for our civil rights (which is a sad, sad fact that any minority has to fight for their own rights), the country has seen that there is no justifiable reason to deny this program to any young person.

So the new compromise, which again, is a huge step in the right direction and should be celebrated as such, puts the onus of discrimination on the charter partner.  Hopefully those units that are told to discriminate (by their charter partners) will be few and lose membership, although it will create some interesting interaction at events such as district camporees and the like.

My only fear is that in those areas of the country, where support for the LGBT community is the lowest, young children won’t have a place they feel welcomed, a place where they can find friends and experience the great outdoors while learning about leadership.

I think if the proposed change goes into effect, it won’t be long before everyone realizes the sky hasn’t fallen and lakes haven’t begun to boil, I just hope it’s in time to help the kids that really need it.

Oftentimes the BSA is called a “family values” organization.  A few thoughts:

First, it’s an outdated and insulting term.  If you want to imagine the 1950’s Leave it to Beaver as your perfect “family,” be my guest, but that romanticized view of America hasn’t existed since, well 1950.  There are families with two parents, one parent, grandparents, adoptive parents, the list goes on and on (and thinking to my own extended family, we’re pretty well represented, and I bet if you thought of yours, you would see many family structures there as well).  Who is the BSA, or anyone really, to say that’s not a family.  True, some structures may be more beneficial, studies have shown that two parent households (of the same or different genders) are more beneficial to children.  But if there’s love, everyone will make it through, no matter the circumstances.

Secondly, the LGBT community has a phrase, “family of choice.”  It’s one that I’ve seen more and more in mainstream culture and media as well.  The idea is that while we all have a family, related to us by blood, the ones we choose to surround ourselves with, the ones we love, are our family of choice.  The two can certainly overlap, but oftentimes, for young LGBT kids, thrown out of their homes, they have to create a new family.  One that cares for them and supports them, and actually loves them unconditionally.  That’s real family values.

And finally, having worked full-time for the BSA for five years, as well as 11 years on camp staff, the image that normally comes to mind when thinking “family values,” really does not fit the BSA.  At camp, you’re outside, dirty, working long, strenuous hours and the need to de-stress, including the fact that the staff is mostly men, is of course going to lead to situations never seen on “Leave it to Beaver.”  And the office was just like any other, with politics, fights and underhanded tactics (as well as amazing work, fantastic people and great shared goals); non-profits aren’t really so different from the business world, I promise.

Moving forward, I certainly hope the BSA realizes that the country, and the dollars, are on the side of embracing equality.  More and more businesses understand that, and I hope it is a lesson soon learned.

All my best,

Mike

A few years back, there were three Freedom alumni, sitting outside the staff lounge.  We had come up to volunteer one weekend, and we ended up with an audience, telling stories of years gone by.

So I thought I’d share a few favorite stories with you.

Counting is important

One year we had a Senior Camp Commissioner who could just never get moves right.  Math eluded him.  Which led to seven of us, with the help of a Central Staff member having to move 30 floorboards from Mass Bay to Concord.  Without the tractor (it was doing moves on the ridge).  At eleven o’clock after opening campfire.  In the pouring rain.

We did one, maybe two trips beetling the floorboards, but realized it would take too long.  So we grabbed one of the push carts (the old ones, you know, where the wheels weren’t quite round), and balanced the remaining floorboards on top.

The seven of us, pushed the cart from Mass Bay to Concord, up and down the hills of the lower sites, through the thickening mud and the pouring rain, while the Central Staff member drove a vehicle backwards in front of us, so we would have the light of his headlights to see by.

Looking back, of course that move was horrific.  But the seven of us bonded over the event, and of course, made sure to double check the moves the SCC did before Saturday mornings.

Two for the price of one

Late one night, I was awoken by the sounds of a leader outside of my tent yelling for help.  Which was strange, since my tent had no real attractive features (a few others had Christmas lights strung).  One of his Scouts was having a severe allergic reaction and he had called an ambulance.

Luckily, I was the one best to deal with situation, so it’s actually good that he didn’t know to wake the CQ or go to another tent.  My tentmate offered help if I needed it, but I told him to go back to sleep.  I went down back to the office and got a hold of the medic and filled him in on the situation.

He met the ambulance and led it to the campsite, going past the office where I was waiting outside to hand him the medical like a fast food drive-thru.  He took care of everything, although as they were leaving, a second ambulance showed up.  To this day, we still have no idea why.

The medic was leading the first ambulance out and told the second to wait where they were and he would be back to lead them out.  Well, the ambulance decided to move, and it got stuck in the bedrock between Eco-Con and Field Sports.

So the medic came back and at that point, we then had to wake up another Ranger to bring out the backhoe to pull the ambulance out of the ditch.

The next morning I recounted this all to the camp director and then promptly told him I would be skipping breakfast so I could sleep.

Family food

It was during shut down one year, and it was miserable.  Cold and wet, I think it rained from the middle of week 8 until Monday night of closing staff week.

In between packing up what we could and drying as many tents as possible in the QM and Dining Hall, we came back to the staff site before a meal to find the family of a fellow staff member had set up a mini campsite outside the staff lounge and was cooking us a veritable feast.

On top of it all, he made two dutch ovens of cobbler.  We were all soaking wet and exhausted, and the home-cooked food and warm cobbler gave us all the energy to keep going.

This was actually something that happened quite a bit though, we would get home-cooked food sent up from families (the famous boxes of brownies), or if a staff member’s unit was in camp, usually any leftovers they had.

It was a nice break, a good treat, and really reinforced that we were all one giant, extended family, which was probably the best thing about camp staff.

That time I touched a really expensive painting, or at least, the frame

This one is more recent, but it fell to our department, so we had a lot of camping volunteers involved.

We had a giant event held at Heinz Field, which was really cool since I got to run into a friend from college who was working there, as well as walking on the field.  At this event were original paintings from Rockwell and Cisteri.

We did a fancy event, I even wore a suit, and gathered as many of the volunteers as we could as a way to say thank you, and the set-up during the day with the black shirt crew and some of the other staff (including a fun trip to Bettis Grill) was actually kind of fun, although very tiring.

I had about 700 nametags that I set up (since I was in charge of the registration), and I remember having to yell at three different professionals.  I had literally been setting the registration area up for hours (there were patches involved, and speakers and VIPs, it was a task), and upon walking in an hour before the event, three of them (not all at once, I had to keep yelling) tried to redo the entire registration area.

After the event, we moved the paintings to our office for it’s 40th anniversary celebration and set up an impromptu art gallery, with stanchions and everything.  As we were setting things up at the office, without thinking, I touched one of the frames.

Now, it wasn’t a big deal, but I of course, was mortified, considering the art, in total, was worth millions.  We all joked about it, and had a good laugh, once we realized that there was no harm.

That night was the longest at the office (didn’t really compare to camp).  I think after we finally got the artwork situated, it was about three o’clock in the morning, but it was kind of cool to set up an art gallery.

There are a lot of other stories I have from work.  Enough to fill books (which may be a project if I decide to do Camp NaNoWriMo), and thinking about what stories to share here, I thought back to a lot that’s happened.

I’ve worked with a lot of amazing camp staff members over the course of 11 summers.  And the volunteers that worked with us are some of the best people in the world, hands down.  Both groups put their heart and souls into the camps and the programs we ran.

And of course, since this is part of my special series, here’s the twist: in two of the stories above, I’m not the only LGBT person.

But the point is that it doesn’t matter.  It never has.

All my best,

Mike

Hopefully this is the last time I have to write something like this.

The National Capital Area Council insisted a Cub Scout Pack remove the language they had on their website, stating that they welcome everyone, including the LGBT community to join.  NCAC threatened to withhold their charter.

The charter is all the official paperwork that registers a unit to a charter organization.  It includes things like insurance coverage and all the behind-the-scenes stuff that makes the kids “official” members of the BSA.

In theory (and oftentimes in practice), units operate without charters.  Usually it’s just a paperwork delay somewhere along the line, and once everything gets entered it’s retroactive back to when the new charter was needed (annually).  That can sometimes cause unexpected problems, especially when submitting advancement paperwork, or an Eagle application.

But this was a Cub Scout Pack.  Which means there are first graders, Tiger Cubs, who were in essence told by NCAC that they couldn’t be Scouts because they and their parents thought equality was important.

The proposed change is a huge step in the right direction, although I will be curious as to how it comes down to council and national employees.  Will each council have to decide, much like the individual units?  Or will national and the councils finally allow out employees and volunteers (there are district and council level volunteers, as well as region and national level as well).

And as a side note, Pittsburgh I think has always has an unofficial rivalry with NCAC, mostly because we get a lot of units that don’t want to drive all the way to Goshen, their summer camp.  And from what I’ve heard, we’re a lot better anyway, although I have heard very, very good things about their high adventure base (which I always mess up the spelling, so I won’t try at the moment).

And sorry to bother you, but take a look over at Wherein I ask for your help and help me out.  It will only take two minutes, I promise.  After the hockey game and before the commercials start (unless you’re rooting for someone in the Super Bowl of course), just take two minutes to shoot a quick e-mail to support equality.  Thanks!

Take a few minutes and watch this moving video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiUo91x90j0

I don’t have a whole lot to add, the video was so well done.  Hearing his voice break up is just heartbreaking.

We’re people who have given up so much to work on camp staff.  Resigned, at least for a time, not to live a completely honest life, to hide such a big part of ourselves.

But we do it because we know we’re doing good work.  Yes, of course, it’s a lot of fun (trust me, stand in front of 500 screaming campers making an absolute fool of yourself, it actually is fun), even though the hours are long, the pay is small and the food oftentimes leaves something to be desired.

But we knew that we were making a real difference in a kid’s life.  Maybe not every kid that came through, but you knew the ones you had helped.  The ones who didn’t want to leave at the end of the week, or who gave you their troop t-shirt.  Or maybe it was the adult that you helped solve a problem in their unit, or the staff member who was having a rough time at home.

Living with your co-workers is a different and harrowing experience.  And in such close quarters, it can be very trying.  I’m thinking specifically of the way the staff lounge door used to slam shut (which sadly, has since been fixed.  It was very distinctive, and anyone who worked at Freedom before 2004 will know the sound) and the alarm clock symphony we had each morning, coming from 20 different tents.

And the showers that you could barely control the temperature, the late, rainy nights moving floorboards, resetting the dining hall twice a week so you could still have a campfire program, even if it was indoors.  We can remember the massive amounts of bluecards, the injuries incurred (oftentimes from campfires), the dehydration and the sickness.

But we can also remember the late nights talking with one another.  Impromptu bonfires and sculptures made of milk crates.  We can remember the early morning canoe trips when the horizon was blanketed in fog.  We can remember sitting in a unit’s campsite, being welcomed by their hospitality with a cup of coffee (or tea).

And we can look back on opening and closing staff weeks, and the banquets, celebrating each year.  We can look back on those we’ve lost and we can see in the current campers the next generation of camp staff.

And we know that camp has a positive affect (from a study conducted by Harris Interactive, selecting camps across the country, including the one I worked at):

• 96% felt they played a role in helping others succeed and grow
• 94% met new people
• 92% help others realize their own abilities
• 92% are with people they respect
• 92% build friendships
• 91% have fun
• 88% worked with others on a badge or task
• 86% try something new
• 84% listened to others’ opinions
• 81% of parents saw a positive change from their son/daughter attending camp
• 80% participate in decision making
• 80% made a new friend
• 80% are listened to by others
• 79% felt as though they were among friends
• 78% feel they accomplished something worthwhile
• 78% recommed camp to other scouts
• 76% receive positive reinforcement from an adult
• 76% learned a new skill from an adult
• 75% saw something they had never seen before
• 73% helped someone else accomplish something
• 72% receive positive reinforcement from a young person
• 72% learned a new skill from a young person
• 71% tested their mental/thinking ability
• 69% reflect on their relationship with God
• 68% participate in flag ceremonies
• 68% take time to reflect on what they’ve learned
• 67% participate in a religious service
• 65% learned about the environment
• 64% felt useful
• 53% helped others overcome conflict/arguments

So the question remains, why would the BSA want to turn away anyone who is willing to help make a difference in the life of a child.  Someone who so desperately wants to work in a job that is oftentimes so hard to fill, just because of who he loves.

The BSA’s discrimination hurts young people who want to work on camp staff, but it also hurts the young people who come to camp.  Why would the BSA want to deny those positive outcomes to any child, just because of how they were born, and who they will grow up to love.

All my best,

Mike

It Gets Better: If you need help, please, please talk to someone you trust.  If you’re thinking of harming yourself, in a bad place, or don’t have anyone to talk to, please call the Trevor Project, the call is anonymous, and they’re there to listen to you: (866) 488-7386.  We’re all here for you and we care about you.  You are not alone.  Please be safe.

Aside from a few exceptions, all the blog posts that I wrote have now been released.  I wrote more than I thought I did, over 350 articles.  Now granted, I did try to focus on one subject for each one, unlike my other blogs, which tend to go out on tangents quite frequently.

I put the date of when I wrote them at the top of each one.  I’m still working out some of the bugs and wanted to make sure that the date was recorded to provide some context.  Going forward (there it is again, take a drink, or at least, drink if you read it in the voice of Luke Ravenstahl), I won’t be adding the date, but it should show up on the main blog feed.

The naming convention (starting the titles with ‘Wherein’) will continue, although there are of course, a few exceptions here and there (this special week of posts being one of them).  I’ve also switched from using the penname, to signing each post with my real name, as I’m safe now.  As they say, The King is dead, long live the King.

I didn’t realize how much I repeated myself.  But I guess there are just some themes and stories I keep going back to: they’re important and mean so much, so if you read through the archives, you’ll see them each about three times.

And while I did censor myself periodically, I tried to be as open and honest as I could be.  And that was one of the reactions that I’ve received a lot, how honest I am in my writing.

Writing is very cathartic for me, and being so open, even with myself, was a big help.  As was going back to read each entry, it was interesting to get a glimpse of my headspace at each moment in time, as well as see what’s really important.  There is a lot of emotion and a lot of honesty in my writing, it’s how I cope with things.

I’ll continue to write, trying to be as honest as I can be.  I’ve even felt inspired to do a video, but for now, I’ll probably pass.  Maybe it will become a collaborative effort, but for now, I’m more comfortable behind a keyboard than in front of a camera.  Well, I guess that’s always the case.

There’s still a lot of work to be done, even if the BSA’s ban is lifted, or, the current compromise being floated is put in place.  I’m still anxious to say that this will happen, I don’t want to get my hopes up just to be disappointed once more.  That will make fighting that much harder.  But fight on we must.

It’s not a perfect solution.  In fact it isn’t really a solution, more of a step in the right direction.  But we should celebrate what it is.

Yes, it gives the BSA an easy out.  An easy way to weasel out of having to take a stand (ignoring the fact that they’ve taken a stand for 30 years now), but it is still progress.

And yes, I hope that I can still help out.  I have some ideas how I can directly help the camp directors this year if they need it, as well as work with the Alumni Association.  And as long as my schedule works out, I’d love to go up for Beaver Weekend (and I’d be happy putting up tents if that’s where they want me, honest, I bet I’m still pretty good on a work crew).

There has been a lot of chatter on Facebook about the proposed policy change, almost all of it encouraging.  And it’s nice to know that I have some allies, even now.

The criticism of course, hurts.  The derogatory language and slurs hurt.  And it hurts not just me, but the other staff members and youth members, gay or straight.

Working on camp staff, we were judged by the work we performed, nothing else.  Scouting belongs in the great outdoors, and we should be looking to our camp staffs for guidance on this issue.  They already, almost universally, understand that a person is not defined by their sexuality, but instead their commitment and growth, their willingness to help a fellow Scout, talk with a volunteer and run the resident camp programs that so many use to define the Scouting movement.

These are the leaders not only of tomorrow, but of today.  They are the ones sacrificing their time, oftentimes their entire summers, to lead “the game with a purpose.”  We owe them the respect which they have already earned.  And as they run camping programs across the country, we should instead be focusing our attention to making sure they have the resources they need to put together the best program for the youth who come through the gates of their camps.

Heterosexual staff members can easily take for granted the world to which they’ve been exposed.  And this is not in any way to diminish their own stories and the hard work that they put in.  But LGBT youth carry additional burdens with them: a constant barrage of media telling them they are not worthy of love, that they are destroying society.  Even questioning if their own family and friends will still love them when they come out.

I like to think that I’m a remarkably strong individual, but no one comes out of that landscape unscathed, not even me.  But if a young person feels at home in Scouts, who are we to tell him or her that they’re not welcome, or that they are somehow broken.

Institutionalized discrimination hurts children.  It is a cause of emotional harm and in some cases, leads to their suicides.  I made this point exceptionally clear in my last post (the one with all the footnotes), and I hope that these two posts help those that don’t understand the fight for equality get a better perspective.  No one is asking for you to change your sexuality (since you can’t), but we will take the basic rights, decency and civility that we’ve been denied for so long.

Looking ahead, I’m very excited for the Pride celebrations.  I think I have a lot to be proud of.  Making it this far is exciting, and doing what I have in the past, to help those around me, and the fight now, are all things I’m proud of.  And I’m proud of what the LGBT community has accomplished, demanding the basic civil rights that we’re denied out of prejudice and bigotry.  I’m still totally afraid of large crowds, but I’ll force myself to enjoy it for once, hopefully I’ll run into some people at the events that I haven’t seen in a while.  And here’s the “secret” about Pride: it celebrates radical inclusion.  Everyone is welcome (just like the Episcopal Church), and we mean everyone.  Come down and party with us.

My family and friends of course, have been nothing short of amazing.  They’ve all been supportive and while I still hate the feeling of being the center of attention, I am happy to be a resource and will continue to fight for equality, this week and in the future.

Coming out was tough, but I’m better for it.  I oftentimes forget that it’s happened, both because I was forced to hide for so long, but also because there are much more interesting and important aspects to me.  I still take the hate I see online and in the media to heart, but I feel as though I’m getting better at that.

And you know what would help even more?  Being welcomed back up to camp and spending an hour or so reading on that one rock by the lake that I miss so much.

All my best,

Mike