Written: 9/23/2012

Sometimes I’m a bit self-involved.  I don’t mean to be, but it happens.  And I certainly try not to be, but like I said, it happens.

So I feel bad that I missed this story from before.  But a bisexual woman was fired by the Salvation Army, only because of her sexual orientation.  The story is heart-breaking on so many levels:

She cried the entire time we went through the paperwork, continuously apologizing to me and saying that firing me was “the worst thing [she’s] ever had to do.” Captain Bill said that he was only allowed to say what the Salvation Army told him to and that since he was forbidden from revealing his own personal opinion, he would not say another word.

And for the rest of the time, he didn’t. He just sat there with tears in his eyes.

I said that I greatly respected them both and that I had enjoyed working for them. I told them how much I appreciated the fact that they saw me as the person I am, and how grateful I was for their understanding that my sexual orientation in no way changed, diminished, or devalued, or impacted the great work I did for them in any way. They promised that they would recommend me highly to future employers and would help me and my family however they could.

That was a theme that I felt time and time again, that my sexual orientation had no way changed any of the great work that I did.

But it did, at least for me.  I think that I pushed myself further, to go out of my way to prove that being an LGBT employee didn’t change the fact that I did amazing work.  So in the end, I was easily one of the best employees on the council’s support staff, because I had something to prove, even if it was something that was never revealed.

That may not have made sense.  But I’ll try to explain it more going forward.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

It’s been a year since the repeal of DADT.  I had hoped that it could have brought about a change in the BSA as well, but even though it hasn’t, it’s a great time to celebrate the progress.

Good As You has a great feed of problems reported since the repeal, updated in real time.  Hint, there’s nothing on it.

Opponents screamed and yelled that troops would leave in mass numbers because of the repeal.  So far, the total comes to two.  Seriously.

Even though no harm has come, and the repeal has actually made it easier for the Pentagon to pursue it’s mission, opponents are convinced that the sky is still falling…we just have to wait 20 years to see it happen.

One of the architects of the repeal, and Iraq veteran, former Pennsylvania Senator Patrick Murphy reflects about the anniversary here, and the SLDN reacts here as well and a retired Marine wishes he had been able to serve without DADT, to know his brothers and sisters more honestly.

And yes, it is a big accomplishment, but there is still more work to do, to make it possible for transgendered individuals to serve:

But just remember, those on the other side of the aisle, even though no harm has come, the military is better off and people are living honestly, want to roll back to a time of DADT if Romney is elected.

So I’ll close with this image from Facebook, which popped up in some unexpected places, more proof that the world is changing in good ways, we just have to keep moving forward:

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

This comes as a surprise (granted, I’ve been busy lately, and haven’t been following the information as closely as I should I guess).  Intel has pulled their support of the BSA, after Zach Wahls and his organization petitioned them to follow their own charitable giving guidelines. 

Due to significant growth in the number of organizations funded, earlier this year we revisited our policies associated with the program, and applied new rigor that requires any organization to confirm that it adheres to Intel’s anti-discrimination policy in order to receive funding.

And it appears that almost half of the top 50 foundations have given money to the BSA.  Looks like Scouts for Equality has a lot of work ahead of them.

I think that this is a great angle, and one that I did not think about before.

The BSA has doubled down with the support from the Mormon Church.  The LDS Church controls most of the National Board, and back in the 90s, when the first decision came out, the thinking was that they would lose more chartered partners and resources by embracing equality than by following the LDS church.

Now, the tactic is to make it hurt for the BSA to not embrace equality.  I think it’s a great strategy, a viscous one, and I think with enough time, it will work.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

Here is a good comparison chart of the two new party platforms, recently adopted at the conventions.

Just a reminder, if you’re not a rich, straight, white man, the Republicans don’t like you.

Click on the image for a bigger version.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

Two quotes to share with you, first up, from the amazing Minnesota kicker, Chris Kluwe:

“Every time you propagate the message that being gay is to be less than human, that same sex marriage cannot be as filled with love and laughter and tears as heterosexual marriage, that gays don’t deserve to pass a legacy on to their family, you quicken that howling storm and sweep away a tiny bit more humanity from the world, drive one more child to contemplating the cold razor’s bite, or the yawning abyss of the overdose because they simply cannot deal with the unceasing assault upon their psyche.  Well I, for one, will not stand for it.

“I will not stand for a world that demeans those it finds ‘different’ or ‘gross’. I will not stand for an ideology that promotes slavish adherence to a single arbitrary standard, that sacrifices children on the altar of oppression and control. I will not stand for one more RED TINGED MUSHROOM CLOUD second of people thinking that they have the right to live someone else’s life for them, for the complete lack of empathy so often shown in our society. I stand for gay marriage. I stand for the end of segregation. I stand for a woman’s right to vote. I stand for equality under the law, for treating others how I want to be treated, for the fundamental human right to live a happy life free of tyranny. I stand for my children.

And from David Halperin

What makes gay people different from others is not just that we are discriminated against, mistreated, regarded as sick or perverted. That alone is not what shapes gay culture. (That indeed could end.) It’s that we live in a world in which heterosexuality is the norm. Heterosexual culture remains our first culture, and in order to survive and to flourish in its midst, gay people must engage in an appropriation of it that is also a resistance to it.

“So long as queer kids continue to be born into heterosexual families and into a society that is normatively, notionally heterosexual, they will have to devise their own nonstandard relation to heterosexual culture. Gay subjectivity will always be shaped by the primeval need on the part of gay subjects to queer heteronormative culture. That is not going to change. Not for a very long time. And we’d better hope it doesn’t.”

I’m constantly impressed with the care and concern our society can pay for our children and their future.

It gives me hope.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

The Catholic Church is refusing to sell a piece of property to gay people.

Let’s put this in perspective.  What do you think would happen, if the Catholic Church refused to sell a piece of property to a Jewish person.  Or a diner refused to serve a Hispanic person?  Or a gas station that wouldn’t sell to women.

Yeah, outrage.  Not wringing of hands saying that they can stand up for their religious beliefs.  Public outrage, and rightfully so.

Read the story here.  And just remember, if you see a story like this, just substitute another group for LGBT and think if there would be outrage, from yourself or others.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

Homophobia in professional sports once again is back in the news:

Why do you hate the fact that other people want a chance to live their lives and be happy, even though they may believe in something different than you, or act different than you? How does gay marriage, in any way shape or form, affect your life? If gay marriage becomes legal, are you worried that all of a sudden you’ll start thinking about penis? … I can assure you that gay people getting married will have zero effect on your life. They won’t come into your house and steal your children. They won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster. They won’t even overthrow the government in an orgy of hedonistic debauchery because all of a sudden they have the same legal rights as the other 90 percent of our population—rights like Social Security benefits, child care tax credits, Family and Medical Leave to take care of loved ones, and COBRA healthcare for spouses and children. You know what having these rights will make gays? Full-fledged American citizens just like everyone else, with the freedom to pursue happiness and all that entails.

Minnesota kicker Chris Kluwe comes out swinging after a Maryland legislator tried to silence a Raven’s player.

You can read the entire letter, published on Deadspin here.

And a great followup here:

I don’t want to spend the whole column quoting Kluwe, but he asks Burns a question that should be put to all fearful haters who believe a few lines in their particular faith’s special book will excuse their loathsome bias forever: “Why do you hate freedom?

Update: Kluwe came out swinging and was an immense force for good, probably turning the tide on Minnesota not putting hate into their constitution.  He continues to be a sane voice (and a huge gaming nerd, so he’s fun to follow on Twitter), and a much welcome addition to the dialogue.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

The Good Men Project has an article up, that I’ve touched upon before:

Sometimes I’m so exhausted that I can’t read another hate crime horror story or risk walking down a city street holding the hand of my boyfriend because, in the back of my mind, I have to think: is it worth it? Am I going to be safe? And oddly enough, it’s not really the physical violence that scares me. It’s the words.

The truth of the matter is, I’m tired too.  Tired of having to protect myself, even when I should be able to just be myself.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to get past that, the self-protection mode is one that comes easily, and one that I default to. I hope to be able to move past that, but until then, I’ll continue on, unbeknownst to most why I always appear so tired.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 9/23/2012

The Good Men Project has a great poster they’ve shared:

All my best,

The King of Spades