Written: 10/15/2011

So this is a funny story, where karma just slaps me in the face.

So, some months ago, a good friend came back into town.  He was able to slip away from his in-laws for a bit and we went out for a beer.  I believe that he had just gotten a smart phone (not that important), and even if he hadn’t, he decided to take a look through my apps, to see if there was anything that I had that he should download.

My mind started racing, and I of course, tried to move the conversation to another direction.  I tried a few times, to no avail, so I figured I’d just go with it.  He eventually got to an app he was not familiar with and asked what it was while he opened it up.  At that moment, I had my beer up to my mouth, so I took a large drink as he stared at my screen, startled, said “oh!” and then closed the app and continued through my app list.

The app, was one of the many that the gays have created to facilitate finding each other (it’s been said many times, and it’s true, the LGBT community is great at using technology for great things, which then get copied by the rest of society).

And while I got a small sense of satisfaction from a strange way my sexuality was uncovered by a friend (and he does not care, nor has he ever, although truth be told, we don’t talk about it overtly.  I’m thinking he’s waiting for me to officially say something to him, which is so kind and caring I couldn’t ask for a better friend), and maybe a lesson to not be so nebby.

Well, that karma boomerang came right back and slapped me upside the head.

I was looking around a website, also created to facilitate the finding of other gay men, although this one has a specific bent to it (to protect the innocent and the guilty, I’m not going into detail, sorry).  The thumbnails are small, and headlines are short, but one was witty, so I clicked on it to open up a profile.  Low and behold, a friend and co-worker from college, one that my married friend is actually very close to.

So I learned a few things about a friend that I didn’t know before.  Although truth be told, he looks good in those pics.  I have no plans to tell my first friend about our mutual friend, that’s not my place.  But I can still sit back and smile at the satisfaction the irony and karma gods are having at my expense.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

I started wearing a ring earlier this year.  For a couple reasons.  First, I just kind of wanted one, I know, I’m somewhat shallow.  It looks nice, leave me alone!

And speaking of looking nice, it looks like two rings pressed together, so unique.  It also has the word “Aequalitas” inscribed inside:

One of the books I wrote for NaNoWriMo was titled Aequalitas, which I took from this ring.  On a side note, the book was a horror novel based off of Abarat and The Books of the Art, but also with a little bit of a play I wrote years before for Script Frenzy based on the equality of black and white, good and evil in the world.

Anyway, when I got the ring, it came with this description:

Tradition has is that words touching the skin have a particular power.

The concept of equality of rights we tend to think of a modern idea, whatever the particular struggle being suprused.  However, the battle to establish freedom, rights and equiality is as ancient as civilization itself, and a battle still only half won.

The Latin word Aequalitas was a rallying cry in ancient Rome; in French, egalite was the cry of the Revolution; in Enlgish, equlaity was a central tenant of the American Declaration of Independence.  In the 21st century, equality is the modern symbol of the Human Rights Campaign.

In Latin, there are many words for equality, with differing shades of meaning.  Aequalitas specifically refers to equality of rights.

This bold modern ring has been engraved in the same letterform as the inscription on Trajan’s Column in Rome, an elegant classical script worthy of the importance of its message and of being worn with pride.

A bunch of us went out for drinks and food, and two friends asked to see my ring, and strangely (to them), I wouldn’t take it off.  Part of course, is that I didn’t want to have to explain everything about it, but I also like the idea of keeping the word close to my skin.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

A Savage Love letter and response pretty much sums up what life is like, not being out at work:

What would the straight guys on your team have to do in order to hide their straightness from you? They could never mention their girlfriends, go out on dates, or hook up with someone they met at a party. They would have to hide their porn and be careful not to check out girls in public. They could never get engaged, get married, or have kids. They might be able to have furtive, secretive, and shame-driven sexual encounters with other closeted heterosexuals they met online or in places where closeted straight people gathered to have anonymous sex, but finding love — true and lasting love — would be extremely difficult.

It wouldn’t be impossible — some gay people managed to find lasting love back in the bad old days — but it would be difficult. And the sneaking around and hiding and lying would ultimately warp their psyches and their lives.

Nerve has the entire column here.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

Just a reminder, anyone tells you that gays can change themselves, because we just choose this life, remind them that that is hateful, harmful and a lie:

The former leader of Exodus International’s oldest ministry says you can’t repent of homosexuality — and he now publicly admits he is homosexual himself.

John Smid, who resigned as Executive Director of Love in Action in 2008, has made his strongest statements yet disavowing the message he preached for years as the head of a ministry that promised gays they could change. Writing on the website of his new ministry, Grace Rivers, Smid says being homosexual (he generally uses this rather clinical term rather than “gay”) is an intrinsic part of a person’s being, not a behaviour he can repent from

I also want to reiterate here that the transformation for the vast majority of homosexuals will not include a change of sexual orientation. Actually I’ve never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.

While it may be something we all wish for at some point, we can’t change who we are.  And while sexuality to some degree is fluid, there is nothing to repent, nothing wrong and nothing to be ashamed of.  You love who you love.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

What the fuck is a “partnership agreement“?

Romney is gracious enough to allow people who love each other to have hospital visitation rights (even though that’s now a right that the LGBT community fought to achieve).  But he can’t allow people who love each other to marry, or even form domestic partnerships.  He wants to create something new, something even more insulting.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

A horrible story from Tennessee:

Sigler wore a homemade T-shirt to school last Tuesday that said “GSA: We’ve Got Your Back.” A teacher ordered Sigler to cover up the shirt in the future. Sigler, knowing he had a right to wear the shirt, wore it again Friday, and resisted an order to remove the shirt. Sigler says that Moser then ordered all students out of the classroom, except for Sigler’s sister Jessica, who refused to leave. According to both students, Moser then grabbed Sigler’s arm, shoved him, and chest-bumped him repeatedly while asking “Who’s the big man now?” Sigler’s mother reported that when she arrived at the school, she saw her son seated in a desk with Moser leaning over him and shouting in Sigler’s face. The Siglers filed a report about the incident that afternoon with the Madisonville Police Department.

Written: 10/15/2011

So, the GOP, and Speaker Boener (is there an h in there somewhere?) specifically, have decided that they should waste money defending DOMA.

And now, they have to triple that budget, since they already ran out of money.

Sacramento Republican Rep. Dan Lungren has signed off on a change order to the contract with outside counsel Paul Clement, who is handling the defense of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act. It allows Clement’s fees to triple to $1.5 million.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, it’s not really that much money.  But still.  A giant waste.

Update: Here are the ‘arguments’ they are trying to use.  All of them fall apart under scrutiny.  Not that there is a legal team out there that could show proper reason for DOMA, but the legal team hired seems particularly inept.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 10/15/2011

The Onion, as always, hits it out of the park with this hilarious article:

Mom And Dad, I’m Gay And Also Stronger Than Both Of You, So Don’t Try Any Shit

Mom, Dad, there’s something we have to talk about. I’ve been wanting to tell you this for some time, and I want you to know that while I’m fully aware this might be difficult for you to hear, remember, I am still your son, and I love you very much: Mom, Dad, I’m gay, and so help me God, I am stronger than the both of you, and I won’t hesitate to beat you back to the Stone Age if you give me any shit about this.

…

Bottom line: I was born this way. It wasn’t a choice. It was, however, a choice to develop huge biceps like this, so take a good long look at them before you think of uttering a hurtful or bigoted remark.

Go read the whole thing, it’s fantastic.

All my best,

The King of Spades