Today's Mighty Oak

Wherein I talk about Chick-Fil-A and share some more thoughts



Written: 8/3/2012

A few more thoughts about Chick-Fil-A, which honestly I’m sick of reading about on my Facebook and Twitter feeds (although I am quite happy with some of my friends responses to the whole thing).

Let’s say this really is about Freedom of Speech, which I have always said I take a little different position than the Supreme Court has.  Speech is protected, unless it is specifically created to cause harm.  That harm is defined as those trying to insight riots, or encourage others to take specific bodily harm against someone else.

I also think that speech designed to cause emotional harm should not be protected, which is where I differ from the Supreme Court.  I can understand though that it is hard to draw a legal line to define what is intentionally causing emotional harm.  While I agree with the laws to prohibit protests at military funerals (specifically written to counteract the Westboro Baptist Church), I can understand that we should not actually pass those laws.  But anyway, I digress.

Here’s the problem with thinking that the Chick-Fil-A mess is really about Freedom of Speech.  Because if it is, those supporting the hateful chicken need to realize that everyone else is just as entitled to their own freedom of speech.  Just as you can go crazy and buy their chicken to support their bigoted stance, the other side is going to be just as vocal in supporting equality.

Just like the BSA: Chick-Fil-A can choose to support whatever they want, but it doesn’t mean they should: I choose to believe that people are better than that, and that we deserve better.

And secondly, for those thinking this is just about marriage equality, that is not the whole truth.  It is about so much more.  Check it out:

So you’ll have to excuse me while I don’t give my money to a company that wants to make it illegal to be myself.

A company that thinks I should be thrown in jail and am the work of the devil.  How I can possibly have any kind of adult conversation with someone like that seems impossible.

The blog, We Carry The Fire sums it up perfectly:

You are less than.  My God doesn’t believe you are worthy of the word Marriage despite him making you the way you are. 

Unacceptable.  

But I conceded.  Further discussion was not warranted.  No views would be changed and only further awkwardness would arise.

All I kept thinking in my head is, They don’t get it.  And I really don’t think they do.  Unless you have lived a life in a gay persons shoes I wouldn’t expect them to.  They dont see the hundreds of organizations out there whose sole purpose it is to make sure gay people dont have the same rights as others.  They dont see or know of the hate crimes against gay people every single day.   They cant understand that separate is not equal.  Granting rights without the word is not good enough.  It still says I am less than deserving of the word marriage.

People scream about it being a religious institution and therefore cannot simply have gays marrying.  Its in the Bible they say:

An abomination.

Me. 

An abomination.  Brings back memories of being called a filthy faggot by a man standing on a street corner when I told him I didn’t agree with his sign saying gays were sinners.  Or when another person called my friends and I “nasty queers” and to “get out of their neighborhood”.  Or when my own father would call me a gross faggot after every argument growing up.  Or when I was told by family members that God wants me to live a life of solitude by myself and to not act on the desires which I have.  Because the love I have to share is not worth sharing with another human being and that this was my cross to carry.

God made me this way so that  I could live a life alone. A lonely abomination

The continued bullying and degrading of the LGBT community is insidious.  It works its way into your brain and makes you believe what you’re told.  Makes you believe that you’re less than.  And that’s something that others aren’t going to understand.  We have to celebrate our differences and surround ourselves with those that love and accept us, just to come out even and in a safe place inside our own heads.

It’s a tough life, one that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  I constantly wish and hope that I’m making a difference, to make the world a better place for those coming after me.  I’t sthe only way to end the cycle.

This blog post is phenomenal, please take a few minutes to read it, it’s a great follow up to the post above:

This isn’t about mutual tolerance because there’s nothing mutual about it. If we agree to disagree on this issue, you walk away a full member of this society and I don’t. There is no “live and let live” on this issue because Dan Cathy is spending millions to very specifically NOT let me live. I’m not trying to do that to him.

Asking for “mutual tolerance” on this like running up to a bully beating a kid to death on the playground and scolding them both for not getting along. I’m not trying to dissolve Mr. Cathy’s marriage or make his sex illegal. I’m not trying to make him a second-class citizen, or get him killed. He’s doing that to me, folks; I’m just fighting back.

All your life, you’re told to stand up to bullies, but when WE do it, we’re told WE are the ones being intolerant? Well, okay. Yes. I refuse to tolerate getting my ass kicked. “Guilty as charged.”

And lastly, I’ve use the phrase “the company,” and that’s not entirely accurate.  Those people owning the franchises, managing the stores and working the front counters and the restaurants have been thrown into this, against their will.  I hope people will please remember that and not take it out on them, I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been for those working there lately.

All my best,

The King of Spades

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