Written: 2/7/2012
Slog has a guest piece up about the problems with marriage equality:
The flaw at the heart of “marriage equality” is that, in purporting to institutionalize (normalize) gay sex/partnerships, it produces but another universe of legally codified restrictions that excludes millions of other peoples. It legally codifies prejudice against people who are single and justifies it through the veneer of “gay rights.”
While gay relationships are not so different than straight relationships, I guess that in many ways they are different. The gay culture is different.
And there is a point that maybe we shouldn’t try to emulate everything from the rest of the society, lest we lost some of our own identity. But of course, I’m for marriage equality for the strength it brings families, the stability it brings children and the rights and responsibilities it brings members of society.
But it’s an interesting thing to think about.
And I guess it’s been on my mind more lately. I’ve always been more of a loner, and I’ve always been happy to be single.
Although that’s been changing lately, and I know that that’s been making it harder to stay closeted at work.
I can’t stand clingyness, and I would not be able to be in a codependent relationship. But the more I think about it, the more I think about how it would be nice to have someone to share life’s adventures with, to lean on, and something I think I’ve mentioned before, someone to help me learn to let myself be helped (grammar gods help me).
I was talking with a good friend a few weeks ago and I was kind of hinting at that feeling. She’s always thought that I should be with someone and more importantly, she’s always pressed me to be more open to the possibility, for which I am thankful. I told her it was her fault that I was opening myself up to these thoughts more, and of course, she was happy for that.
The Good Men Project has a heartbreaking article about a set of brothers, and while the article goes off into territory unknown to me (abusive father), the first part, where the author describes his brother being more of a loner and happy by himself, felt connected to me (although usually I tend towards more adventure type things instead of a weekend on the recliner watching tv, let alone sports). It’s a good read, check it out. And I’m going to try to dig out some stuffed animals.
But who knows, it’s easier to keep my job and not make waves without a boyfriend, but I know that’s not something I can keep up forever, while I also know I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship and keep this job. So I keep moving on I suppose, one day at a time.
All my best,
The King of Spades
