Written: 2/7/2012

Slog has a guest piece up about the problems with marriage equality:

The flaw at the heart of “marriage equality” is that, in purporting to institutionalize (normalize) gay sex/partnerships, it produces but another universe of legally codified restrictions that excludes millions of other peoples. It legally codifies prejudice against people who are single and justifies it through the veneer of “gay rights.”

While gay relationships are not so different than straight relationships, I guess that in many ways they are different.  The gay culture is different.

And there is a point that maybe we shouldn’t try to emulate everything from the rest of the society, lest we lost some of our own identity.  But of course, I’m for marriage equality for the strength it brings families, the stability it brings children and the rights and responsibilities it brings members of society.

But it’s an interesting thing to think about.

And I guess it’s been on my mind more lately.  I’ve always been more of a loner, and I’ve always been happy to be single.

Although that’s been changing lately, and I know that that’s been making it harder to stay closeted at work.

I can’t stand clingyness, and I would not be able to be in a codependent relationship.  But the more I think about it, the more I think about how it would be nice to have someone to share life’s adventures with, to lean on, and something I think I’ve mentioned before, someone to help me learn to let myself be helped (grammar gods help me).

I was talking with a good friend a few weeks ago and I was kind of hinting at that feeling.  She’s always thought that I should be with someone and more importantly, she’s always pressed me to be more open to the possibility, for which I am thankful.  I told her it was her fault that I was opening myself up to these thoughts more, and of course, she was happy for that.

The Good Men Project has a heartbreaking article about a set of brothers, and while the article goes off into territory unknown to me (abusive father), the first part, where the author describes his brother being more of a loner and happy by himself, felt connected to me (although usually I tend towards more adventure type things instead of a weekend on the recliner watching tv, let alone sports).  It’s a good read, check it out.  And I’m going to try to dig out some stuffed animals.

But who knows, it’s easier to keep my job and not make waves without a boyfriend, but I know that’s not something I can keep up forever, while I also know I wouldn’t be able to be in a relationship and keep this job.  So I keep moving on I suppose, one day at a time.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/7/2012

Dan Savage has a fantastic piece over at Slog:

The Supreme Court has ruled time and again—at least when it comes to heteros—that marriage is a fundamental human right. The question we’re wrestling with now is whether gay people are humans and therefore entitled to fundamental human rights. Courts have ruled that states can prevent murderers and rapists and child molesters from living in certain neighborhoods, from voting, from driving. But the state cannot prevent them from marrying

This comes after Santorum told a gay man that he is not entitled to the right of marriage, since it would not benefit society.

Marriages are a benefit to society, two people caring for each other is a benefit.  People who are married keep each other healthier than they otherwise would be.  They are able to work together as a team to raise (or not raise) children.  And marriages offer over 1,100 civic rights, duties and privileges, all of which should be available to everyone.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/6/2012

I have a strange news feed on Facebook.  I have a few that sneak through that are rabidly anti-gay and Catholic.  So the current kerfuffle about the changes to health care have been causing them some anxiety.

I have seen people argue that it is religious persecution that Catholic employers (aside from Churches, so hospitals, colleges, etc) comply with healthcare guidelines and cover contraception and reproductive health.

Let’s take a step back and realize something:

Some 98 percent of sexually active Catholic women in the United States have used contraceptive methods banned by the church, research published on Wednesday showed. A new report from the Guttmacher Institute, the nonprofit sexual health research organization, shows that only 2 percent of Catholic women, even those who regularly attend church, rely on natural family planning. The latest data shows practices of Catholic women are in line with women of other religious affiliations and adult American women in general.

So right there, we can just stop the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments.

And no one is saying they need to be forcing any of these services on employees, the government is just saying that if you are taking tax-payer money, you need to offer a minimum level of care, which includes reproductive health.  You know, since it’s a part of health.  Mother Jones sums it up beautifully:

I’m tired of religious groups operating secular enterprises (hospitals, schools), hiring people of multiple faiths, serving the general public, taking taxpayer dollars — and then claiming that deeply held religious beliefs should exempt them from public policy. Contra Dionne, it’s precisely religious pluralism that makes this impractical. There are simply too many religions with too many religious beliefs to make this a reasonable approach. If we’d been talking about, say, an Islamic hospital insisting that its employees bind themselves to sharia law, I imagine the “religious community” in the United States would be a wee bit more understanding if the Obama administration refused to condone the practice.

I can understand compromising over a very limited number of hot button issues. Abortion is the obvious one. But in general, if Catholic hospitals don’t want to follow reasonable, 21st century secular rules, they need to make themselves into truly religious enterprises. In particular, they need to stop taking secular taxpayer money. As long as they do, though, they should follow the same rules as anyone else.

I care about these issues because I’m a human being.  Because I can care about other people’s health without judging them, and because it always seems like certain groups are always opposed to the march of equality and progress.  And maybe it will continue to pay off and we’ll all keep standing up for each other in the face of adversity.

Update: The connection between any minorities rights is clear-cut.  So fighting for women’s rights, is a no-brainer.  Hopefully it is for you as well.

 All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/6/2012

Generally, it seems, each younger generation tends to have more accepting views of civil rights.  And I’ve said it before (and we all know I’ll keep saying it, sorry) that my generations defining civil rights issue is marriage equality.

However, we have to remember that parenting really is important.  A high school paper recently published an editorial advocating for the death of homosexuals because it is called for in the Bible, The Stranger covers it here.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/6/2012

You don’t vote on civil rights.  One of the purposes of government is to make sure that minorities are treated fairly and properly, and not held hostage by the whims of the majority.

You don’t vote on civil rights.  Thinking so is asinine and moronic.

You don’t vote on civil rights.

New Jersey, which is posed to pass marriage equality through its legislature is faced with Gov. Chris Christie.  He has promised to veto the bill, because he wants the people to vote on it. He’s been called out on this idiotic statement by lots of people, including the NAACP and the ACLU.  Let’s take a look at a map to remind us of why we should not be voting on civil rights:

On the other side of the country, check it out as State Senator Murray argues this point against a Republican colleague.  And while we’re on the topic, how would you like it if we filed a referendum to vote on your marriage?  The Stranger is trying (tongue in cheek, I believe) to get the state to vote on the marriage of anti-gay Attorney General McKenna.

All my best,

The King of Spades