Written: 2/17/2012

But not about me.  

First up, Dan Savage responds to someone who was yelled at for “doing kink wrong,” by not following the old guard rules with his partner.  Savage, smartly, takes the side of, do what feels good to you and your partner, and ignore those who try to control you.  From what I’ve been reading online, Pittsburgh tends to leave the “old guard” behind and do what they want, which I can appreciate, and it suits the ‘burgh.

And secondly, you probably heard about a couple in Portland who got arrest on Valentine’s day, for suspected kidnapping.  They were acting out a kink scene in public (one, it’s not cool to involve those who don’t want to be involved, and two, don’t act this out in public places) and the cops were called when innocent passerby’s thought it was a real kidnapping.  Also, they met on craigslist and hadn’t met in person before the scene (way unsafe).  A funny story for us though!

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

Here’s what’s been going on on the law side of the LGBT debate:

Kansas decides once again to leave it’s anti-sodomy laws on the books, even though they’ve been ruled obsolete by the Supreme Court.  Thank goodness they won’t repeal those laws, we might think we’re real people.

An essay about ENDA, the employee non-discrimination act.  Because it’s not on the books (and since any version would probably include a non-profit exclusion), I can be fired for coming out.  And that’s what happened when a Church’s music director married his husband.

Update: The Obama administration is going to stop defending laws that discriminate against same sex spouses of military members.  This is awesome, and where DOMA will really start to fall.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

It’s hard being gay in the United States, but I have to remember that it’s much worse elsewhere.

A gay man was forced by his employer to marry a woman or else lose his job (this also broke up with woman’s first marriage, by the way).  All because he was asking for equal rights.

And in Sweden, the government is castrating members of the transgendered community.  This is heartbreaking, infuriating and evil, all wrapped into one:

It’s bad here, but it’s worse elsewhere.  Always good to put things in perspective.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/17/2012

Hilarious new channel on youtube: drunk grindr.  Here are my two favorite episodes:

Here’s the theme music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooF2d567xHM

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

Mercy is the closest hospital to work.  It’s also a Catholic hospital.

Although, sidenote, during the G20 conference, even though Mercy was closer, the hospital designated for the conference was AGH, across the river.  Although I guess by helicopter it may have been a little closer, and I know Mercy had a lot of overflow work.  But anyway…

AMERICAblog has a great op-ed, worth a read, here is a bit:

So where does it stop?  Does the Catholic church think their hospitals can refuse to respond to 911 calls from transgender people?  That’s what happened in DC a number of years ago, the emergency medical guys freaked out when they responded to a call and found out the victim was trans.  They let her die, not before verbally mocking the dying woman, rather than offend their delicate sensibilities by treating her life-threatening injuries: 

Injured in an automobile accident, Hunter died shortly after a firefighter stopped treating her when the firefighter realized that Hunter was a man dressed in women’s clothes. Rather than assisting Hunter as she lay dying, the firefighter harassed her by making homophobic jokes to his fellow firefighters.

So don’t tell me it won’t happen. It has happened. And it’s what the Catholics, and the religious right, are arguing for.

I don’t want to take my chances with Mercy, although, one of my best friends sometimes works at Mercy.  And if I have the choice between my best friend and someone who may be inclined to not help me as much since I’m a “sinner” in their eyes, I’m going to go for the better medical treatment, who would be ready to probably kill for me will have to visit me elsewhere.

Update: Sadly, he doesn’t work at Mercy anymore, although it’s better for him, so it’s a good thing.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

There are a lot of rights that people take for granted because they don’t realize what they have.  Which I guess is a good thing, it’s strange to think about what life would be like without certain rights and it’s a blessing to have them.

So very often, members of the LGBT community can be discriminated against for no other reason than who we love.  For instance, housing.  I could be denied housing, just because I’m gay (so remember that next time you buy a house or rent an apartment, you’re flaunting your sexuality).

But that’s going to change a little bit:

Housing and Urban Development Secretary Shaun Donovan announced on Saturday that his agency will codify its proposed rule that would ban anti-LGBT discrimination in federal housing programs next week.

He received a standing ovation as he took the stage and when he announced the pending codification. “LGBT individuals and couples have the right to live where they choose,” said Donovan.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

Pretty neat article at The Good Men Project about an art exhibit showcasing various coming out stories.  Check it out here.

Here’s the great quote:

 Mark Nelson says we should all just be ourselves.  And if anyone doesn’t like it, screw them.

I wish I could get myself to think and act like that more.

Update: A special shout out to my amazing cousin who told me this, in not so many words.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

You know the saying about “He who doth protest too much.”

For those unfamiliar, those who protest something too much are usually those most likely to be engaged in that activity.  Hence the creation of the site Gay Homophobe.  Currently, it’s been 58 days since the last homophobic public official was shown to be gay (shopping at a gay sex shop with your government credit card is a big tip off…).

So, I think that that explains half of this:

Regardless, it’s interesting to know that of the top 10 states that searched for the term “gay sex,” seven of them are Bible belt states.

My guess is that the other half are people scared to come out, who hopefully can someday soon find themselves surrounded by supportive people (either in the South or elsewhere in the country).

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

No child should be scared of their parents.  Children deserve to feel loved, feel safe and feel secure at home.  The world is a harsh place, especially for young gay kids.

I think so often a lot of people don’t come out until later in life because shit like this happens.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOR77tWVxKc

Let me remind you: kidnapped in the middle of the night.  There’s no excuse for that.

And as another reminder, every singe accredited professional organization that deal with the subject have called repairative therapy quack science that causes harm and is unable to change sexuality.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 2/13/2012

I’ve been thinking about religion a lot lately.  One of my best friends called the other day, we went to school together and have had lots of conversations about faith.  We also have a great joking relationship going with it, which I appreciate it, because if you can’t laugh at religion, you’re doing it wrong.

He thought he had offended me (long series of events barring me from getting to my phone, sorry), his wife and him were discussing gay rights in the Church and how many churches relate to the LGBT community and how they should relate to the LGBT community.  And I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation, it was great, we came to the conclusion that we were all right, he described how churches should relate, while his wife commented on how most do.

Which brings me to the asshatery of Virginia:

The Virginia Senate today advanced a bill which passed the House last week that allows private adoption agencies to discriminate based on religious or moral beliefs

Which again, would not be a problem, except that this includes adoption agencies that take tax payer money.  So once again, we’re all paying for discrimination.

However, there is some good news out of Maryland where the Bishop of the Episcopal Church said this in a recent op-ed:

  However you interpret the seven texts used to argue against marriage equality, they pale in comparison to the over-arching biblical imperatives to love one another, work for justice, and recognize that each of us is created in the image and likeness of God.  Jesus, for Christians, is God incarnate. He not only shows us how to live, but reveals to us that God loves us unconditionally. Indeed, gay and lesbian Christians often speak of the overwhelming experience of being assured that they are loved by God as they are

            No matter how devoted to the scriptures of our faith we may be, few of us shape our moral opinion based on holy texts alone. If God is at work in the world, then our experience is a kind of scripture, and we must pay careful attention to what it is teaching us.

             Jesus said, “you will know people by their fruits.” St. Paul wrote: “The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” Many of us in the Episcopal Church, which I serve as a bishop, know same-sex couples whose relationships can only be described as holy, and thus we have come to support the blessing of such unions. They stand in stark contrast with many exploitative and casual patterns of sexuality that both heterosexual and homosexual Christians are right to reject.

It’s always nice to see rational thought applied to faith, which is one of the tenets of the Episcopal Church.

All my best,

The King of Spades