Written: 8/13/2012

LGBT couples make great parents.  So do straight couples.  There are of course negative examples of both, don’t get me wrong.  But one statement that I made to a good friend was that two straight people can go out and drunkenly make a baby, two gay guys can’t go out one night and drunkenly adopt a child.

However, enemies of equality seem to think that we’re after children to molest or somehow make gay, neither of which are true of course.

Now, Bryan Fisher is on a roll telling people that they should kidnap the children of LGBT couples.  Yes, he’s advocating kidnapping, which is absolutely disgusting (as is the slander mentioned above).

I never made the connection, since the story is in and out of the news as trial dates come and go, but this so called “underground railroad” is kind of already a real thing.  And Bryan Fisher keeps encouraging it.  How very, very sad.

I can’t repeat it enough, the anger and vitriol that comes from parents and anti-equality organizations does real harm to LGBT children (and adults).  This letter, is sadly proof of it:

“James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad.”

But of course, I do have to remember that sometimes, there really are good parents who see the light (if they didn’t already), like this father who changed his vote at his gay son’s urging.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/13/2012

Here’s a bit of news I did not expect to write: both presidential candidates are opposed to the BSA’s ban on LGBT members.

Obama, as guessed, is opposed to the ban:

President believes the Boy Scouts is a valuable organization that has helped educate and build character in American boys for more than a century,” White House spokesperson Shin Inouye said in the statement. “He also opposes discrimination in all forms, and as such opposes this policy that discriminates on basis of sexual orientation.”

And Romeny, who said the following in 1994, his current spokesman said he still stands by it:

I support the right of the Boy Scouts of America to decide what it wants to do on that issue. I feel that all people should be able to participate in the Boy Scouts regardless of their sexual orientation.

I honestly thought he would try to walk that back and distance himself from it.  But good for him!

Zach Wahls weighs in, and I have to agree, it’s so strange to see both major candidates from the two parties agreeing on something:

“I couldn’t agree more with President Obama about how important the BSA is to this country’s young men and am proud to have his support. The fact that the Presidential candidates of both major American parties have come together to oppose the BSA’s anti-gay policy in the most polarized political climate since Reconstruction speaks volumes about both the moral validity and critical importance of ending the ban. It’s no surprise that the leader of the free world is willing to advocate for a little more freedom within the BSA.”

I don’t think this will come up as an issue, although I think it would be worth it if it was pushed by groups such as Scouts for Equality, although honestly, there are more pressing issues for the country, just not for me.

But maybe, just maybe, like Pelosi and Gingrich, they’ll come together and do a PSA.  But I won’t hold my breath.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

Sometimes I forget that I’m not alone.  Not just because Pennsylvania doesn’t have any kind of protections (I can be fired from any company just for being gay and it’s perfectly legal), but the other organizations out there that are just as homophobic as the BSA.

First up, the Salvation Army:

And finally, I’d like Major LaBossiere to explain to my three-year-old daughter how he justifies any of his reprehensible actions in light of the Salvation Army’s pledge to do “the most good.” Because firing someone for being bisexual doesn’t sound like doing “the most good” to me. It sounds like a tragic failure.

And secondly, the gay employees of Chick-Fil-A speak out:

One gay employee who works at Chick-fil-A headquarters in Atlanta, Ga., and asked to remain anonymous for fear of losing his job, says he is getting it from both sides. On the one hand, there is the customer who came in and said he supported Dan Cathy and then “continues to say something truly homophobic, e.g. ‘I’m so glad you don’t support the queers, I can eat in peace,'” the employee, who is 23 and has worked for Chick-fil-A since he was 16, wrote in an email. On the other hand, he continued, “I was yelled at for being a god-loving, conservative, homophobic Christian while walking some food out to a guest in a mall dining room.”

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

A lot has been written online about the BSA’s ban.  All of them are worth a read, here’s a link roundup for you:

Teaching Tolerance to Boy Scouts

The boy might also notice that the scout oath and scout law are inconsistent with the ban. 

An Eagle Scout no More

Scouts helped make me who I am. Today as an author and journalist I travel alone to parts of the world I can’t pronounce. I accept cultures and people in their own terms. I try to look past our differences and see our similarities.

Why my son can’t be a Boy Scout

“It’s against everything Boy Scouts taught me,” Bruce said about the policy. “It was about learning to be a good man and caring about other people and putting them first.”

An Eagle Scout’s thoughts on the BSA’s policies

Personally, I think that the decision to ban gays from Scouting is detrimental to the BSA and puts this venerable organization on the wrong side of both a rising tide of popular opinion in America and several core American and Scout values.

Scout’s Dishonor: The BSA continues to blaze a trail of intolerance

Do the Boy Scouts really want to be the last defender of an ugly bias that the rest of America has laid to rest?

To keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight

So the fight is not over. Indeed, I, along with Jennifer, Eric and the folks at GLAAD (The Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) will not stop fighting until the ban is overturned, if not in court, then in the court of public opinion.

 

The tide does indeed keep turning, and we’ll continue to fight.  And we’ll win, eventually.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

There is more momentum for Eagle Scouts returning their awards in protest, which is great to see.  Keeping the story in the news and on people’s minds is what’s going to change the policy.

I think I’ve mentioned it before, it did a lot of good for the repeal of DADT and I think it can do a lot of work for the BSA as well.

A new tumblr blog has popped up, tracking Eagle’s sent back to the BSA.  It’s not going to show all of them of course, just those that are sent in to the tumblr blog, but right now, over 70 different posts are live.  I’m hoping to be able to pull some of the better quotes together into a big piece of art once I get back from camp, it will take a while, but I think it will turn out well.

Check it out here.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

A few more thoughts about Chick-Fil-A, which honestly I’m sick of reading about on my Facebook and Twitter feeds (although I am quite happy with some of my friends responses to the whole thing).

Let’s say this really is about Freedom of Speech, which I have always said I take a little different position than the Supreme Court has.  Speech is protected, unless it is specifically created to cause harm.  That harm is defined as those trying to insight riots, or encourage others to take specific bodily harm against someone else.

I also think that speech designed to cause emotional harm should not be protected, which is where I differ from the Supreme Court.  I can understand though that it is hard to draw a legal line to define what is intentionally causing emotional harm.  While I agree with the laws to prohibit protests at military funerals (specifically written to counteract the Westboro Baptist Church), I can understand that we should not actually pass those laws.  But anyway, I digress.

Here’s the problem with thinking that the Chick-Fil-A mess is really about Freedom of Speech.  Because if it is, those supporting the hateful chicken need to realize that everyone else is just as entitled to their own freedom of speech.  Just as you can go crazy and buy their chicken to support their bigoted stance, the other side is going to be just as vocal in supporting equality.

Just like the BSA: Chick-Fil-A can choose to support whatever they want, but it doesn’t mean they should: I choose to believe that people are better than that, and that we deserve better.

And secondly, for those thinking this is just about marriage equality, that is not the whole truth.  It is about so much more.  Check it out:

So you’ll have to excuse me while I don’t give my money to a company that wants to make it illegal to be myself.

A company that thinks I should be thrown in jail and am the work of the devil.  How I can possibly have any kind of adult conversation with someone like that seems impossible.

The blog, We Carry The Fire sums it up perfectly:

You are less than.  My God doesn’t believe you are worthy of the word Marriage despite him making you the way you are. 

Unacceptable.  

But I conceded.  Further discussion was not warranted.  No views would be changed and only further awkwardness would arise.

All I kept thinking in my head is, They don’t get it.  And I really don’t think they do.  Unless you have lived a life in a gay persons shoes I wouldn’t expect them to.  They dont see the hundreds of organizations out there whose sole purpose it is to make sure gay people dont have the same rights as others.  They dont see or know of the hate crimes against gay people every single day.   They cant understand that separate is not equal.  Granting rights without the word is not good enough.  It still says I am less than deserving of the word marriage.

People scream about it being a religious institution and therefore cannot simply have gays marrying.  Its in the Bible they say:

An abomination.

Me. 

An abomination.  Brings back memories of being called a filthy faggot by a man standing on a street corner when I told him I didn’t agree with his sign saying gays were sinners.  Or when another person called my friends and I “nasty queers” and to “get out of their neighborhood”.  Or when my own father would call me a gross faggot after every argument growing up.  Or when I was told by family members that God wants me to live a life of solitude by myself and to not act on the desires which I have.  Because the love I have to share is not worth sharing with another human being and that this was my cross to carry.

God made me this way so that  I could live a life alone. A lonely abomination

The continued bullying and degrading of the LGBT community is insidious.  It works its way into your brain and makes you believe what you’re told.  Makes you believe that you’re less than.  And that’s something that others aren’t going to understand.  We have to celebrate our differences and surround ourselves with those that love and accept us, just to come out even and in a safe place inside our own heads.

It’s a tough life, one that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.  I constantly wish and hope that I’m making a difference, to make the world a better place for those coming after me.  I’t sthe only way to end the cycle.

This blog post is phenomenal, please take a few minutes to read it, it’s a great follow up to the post above:

This isn’t about mutual tolerance because there’s nothing mutual about it. If we agree to disagree on this issue, you walk away a full member of this society and I don’t. There is no “live and let live” on this issue because Dan Cathy is spending millions to very specifically NOT let me live. I’m not trying to do that to him.

Asking for “mutual tolerance” on this like running up to a bully beating a kid to death on the playground and scolding them both for not getting along. I’m not trying to dissolve Mr. Cathy’s marriage or make his sex illegal. I’m not trying to make him a second-class citizen, or get him killed. He’s doing that to me, folks; I’m just fighting back.

All your life, you’re told to stand up to bullies, but when WE do it, we’re told WE are the ones being intolerant? Well, okay. Yes. I refuse to tolerate getting my ass kicked. “Guilty as charged.”

And lastly, I’ve use the phrase “the company,” and that’s not entirely accurate.  Those people owning the franchises, managing the stores and working the front counters and the restaurants have been thrown into this, against their will.  I hope people will please remember that and not take it out on them, I can’t imagine how difficult it’s been for those working there lately.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

I’ve never heard of road tattoos before, I think it’s just another name for public art on a road surface, and that’s okay.  But in Chicago, there is a really awesome road tattoo commemorating LGBT troops.

The design is based on galloons, the decorative gold braiding found on dress uniforms.  Not only do galloons add pomp and ceremony, they are a public indication of the wearer’s rank and years of specific service. In the road tattoo, the galloon braiding coalesce then unravel when viewed from a vehicle driving over it alluding to the ever present interaction of the personal and the public self.  Yellow in color as a nod to the gold of galloons, it is also a reminder of the caution these earlier service members faced when presenting their personal information.

Check it out here, pretty awesome.  I especially like the unraveling and coalescing, I like the imagery of public and private lives and having to keep the two working in tandem.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/3/2012

I’m Lebanese, and proud of that heritage.  I love the food (or at least most of it), and I like to be able to add my heritage into conversations about racial intolerance and catch people off guard.  And even though I have the physical look of my German grandfather, I sear I am a quarter Lebanese.

Anyway, the country is a weird contradiction.  Beirut has become a sort of attraction spot for the LGBT community offering a lot of gay clubs.  But sadly, like many other countries, it is still not entirely safe for the LGBT community.

Three dozen men were arrested from a gay cinema, and then forcibly probed and then made to pay for the invasion.

It’s sad to see, even though we’ve made a lot of progress in so many areas (oftentimes in the form of two steps forward, one step back), it is still a shame to see these kind of actions anywhere in the world.

All my best,

The King of Spades