Written: 8/26/2012

Once more Lebanon is in the news, and not for good reasons, two men have been arrested for having “immoral relations.”

Anonymous attacked the website of the PM of Uganda to call out the rampant homophobia.

Even though there is so much homophobia in the world, we have to fight the injustice where we can (often a right-wing talking point that we should be fighting homophobia oversees instead of here, giving them a free pass for a while), so we continue to fight where we can.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/13/2012

A quick update here, I just finished Jeremy Hooper’s book “If it’s a choice, my zygote chose balls,” and it’s amazing.

Hooper writes the site Good As You, and the book is a great journey through his life and great writing about the struggles LGBT people face.

The ending (and I don’t have my copy with me, or else I’d quote it), has a great part about rage.  The rage that Jeremy feels at how the world has treated the LGBT youth and the real pain they’ve inflicted.

He mentions that he holds the rage in, but if you look, you can see it in his eyes.  And I’m once again reminded of one of my best friends, the first one who could really see through me, and realize that there’s more to me than I present.

I prefer to hide my emotions, it’s easier that way.  People expect you to be happy, and anything deviating from that just causes drama and makes it harder to interact.

But he was able to see through me, and maybe other people can to, but he was the only one to actually say that he saw more than what I present and to be concerned.  And that meant so much.  We were sitting on his futon in his basement watching a movie, talking and drinking, as we do, and he turned to me and just told me that he knew there was pain behind my eyes and that he was here for me.

And that meant the world.

He never forced me to talk with him, but he’s always an open ear, and I’m the same for him.  His kindness and hospitality is one of the things that has kept me safe.  I’ve explained to him my apprehension about going out with members of the camp staff to the bar, not only because I don’t have the luxury of trusting them, but also because the mountain is not exactly the most welcoming place on earth.

I’m eternally grateful for his friendship, I wish I could somehow repay him.  But maybe the world will change and evolve and the rage will dissipate. I think that would be a great gift for him and the world.

All my best,

The King of Spades 

Written: 8/13/2012

Over the weekend, my brother and sister (in-law) celebrated their wedding with a big reception.  Since the ceremony was small, a lot of out of state family couldn’t make it, so they had planned to have this reception.

And sometimes, I realize that I forget how much I love my extended family, and how much stereotypes are way off.

A bit of background, my sister (in-law), which by the way, I’ve always just called her my sister, so I have to force myself to add the “in-law” part, is African American.  Her family is awesome, and has accepted me without question and I can’t even begin to describe how much I love hanging out with them.

My uncle and aunt who live in DC have two adoptive children, both of whom are also African American, so I’ve never really thought it strange.  Watching their granddaughter, play with my other cousins on the nearby playground, was awesome.  And none of us could help but smile at the insistence that they not leave, since all the cousins were still playing.  Even my sister’s sister’s child was quickly pulled into the fold, playing with all the other kids his age, acting like just one of the other cousins.

Now, most of this family is from West Virginia.  Sometimes I have to remember that WV left from VA over slavery, joining the north in the civil war.  Maybe it’s because that side of the family is Episcopalian, which, I was happy to see the “The Episcopal Church Welcomes YOU” bumper sticker.  They preach that, and they live that.  It’s true, and I’m always happy to be reminded of.

Now, the other side of the family, is also just as welcoming, except for one exception.  But I am happy to report, that those last few holdouts, have “evolved” on the matter, and welcomed my sister with open arms into the family.  Maybe they saw all the other love and realized that skin color really doesn’t matter, maybe they saw the love between my brother and his wife (can’t say sister there, that would be weird).  But either way, I’m glad the family from PA finally caught up with the majority of civilized society (oh I wish that was true).

Anyway, just a lesson to everyone, myself included, that we need to make sure we’re not making snap judgement and that it is possible for people to evolve.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/13/2012

Animal New York, a prominent ad house, has a great feature article up about returning Eagle medals.  The writer, and his dad returned theirs to the National Office.

Two select passages:

It also taught me that I was more and other than who I appeared to be, and this was perhaps the greatest lesson: that appearance should not be trusted, and yet, should be greeted with kindness. A Scout is, in the end, strong enough to be compassionate, no matter how he is greeted in return. This was humbling, because I’d seen my dad teach it to me every day—not in lectures or instructions but by example with his humor and sincere concern.

And the second, which has a special place in my heart:

And then he offered to send his medal with mine. He could, conceivably, be relieved of his position—to which, he said, “and if they do, well, that’s okay.” Would I be “outing” him? No: in his words, “They all know I’m Episcopalian there,” citing the gay-friendliness of our family denomination. He’s made his opinion very clear during district meetings that alienated homosexual-identifying boys need the support and family Scouting can provide. Where are they getting their values if Scouting turns them away?

It is well written and eloquent, and Animal NY is a major house, so this will get read by a lot of people, which is nice to see.

All my best,

The king of Spades

Written: 8/13/2012

Another fun flowchart, click on it for a larger version

I think it was George Takai that first posted it, or at least, his post is the one that seems to be floating around the most.

All my best,

The King of Spades

Written: 8/13/2012

LGBT couples make great parents.  So do straight couples.  There are of course negative examples of both, don’t get me wrong.  But one statement that I made to a good friend was that two straight people can go out and drunkenly make a baby, two gay guys can’t go out one night and drunkenly adopt a child.

However, enemies of equality seem to think that we’re after children to molest or somehow make gay, neither of which are true of course.

Now, Bryan Fisher is on a roll telling people that they should kidnap the children of LGBT couples.  Yes, he’s advocating kidnapping, which is absolutely disgusting (as is the slander mentioned above).

I never made the connection, since the story is in and out of the news as trial dates come and go, but this so called “underground railroad” is kind of already a real thing.  And Bryan Fisher keeps encouraging it.  How very, very sad.

I can’t repeat it enough, the anger and vitriol that comes from parents and anti-equality organizations does real harm to LGBT children (and adults).  This letter, is sadly proof of it:

“James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad.”

But of course, I do have to remember that sometimes, there really are good parents who see the light (if they didn’t already), like this father who changed his vote at his gay son’s urging.

All my best,

The King of Spades